First, a confession. I watched Jon and Kate Gosselin's break-up on Monday night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8. It may have cost me my man card, but I couldn't help it. I was glued. Having seen Jon and Kate on the cover of Charisma magazine and their book at my local Christian bookstore, I was grieved to watch another Christian marriage go down the tubes--in front of millions of people. What happened?
Many, of course, will point to the show itself as the downfall of their marriage, and that could very well be true; but as I watched the separate interviews last night (in my defense, last night was the only full episode I've ever watched) I couldn't help but notice the overwhelming emphasis on both of their parts that the ensuing divorce was "for the sake of the children."
In interview after interview, both Jon and Kate emphasized repeatedly that their first priority was their children. What was absent from the discussion was the priority of their marriage. It seems that their underlying assumption was that the health of their marriage had little to do with the physical and emotional well-being of their children.
Understand that I am not writing this in any way to pass judgment on Jon and Kate. Divorce is always a difficult thing to go through and there could very well be extenuating circumstances that the public doesn't know. The reason for me writing this is to pose a question to my readers.
I've always understood that the priorities of married people with children should be:
1. God
2. Spouse
3. Children
The reason for this, at least as it was always explained to me, is that when husbands and wives give priority to their relationship with each other, it provides a stable environment for the emotional health of children. Another way of putting it is to say that healthy children flow naturally from healthy marriages. Therefore, the marriage should come first.
Jon and Kate's assumption on the other hand, and many, perhaps the majority in my generation, seems to be that the priority flow chart looks like this:
1. God
2. Children
3. Spouse
I'm making an assumption of course about the God part. Since I don't know Jon and Kate personally, call that a benefit of a doubt. Here's the question I'd like to pose to my readers. Which of these flow charts do you think is the most accurate? Of course, I realize that if a spouse is a potential danger to children, then the other spouse should do whatever they need to do to protect their children. I'm talking about the marital priorities when normal problems arise. Is the flow chart that I've always understood accurate? Why or why not?
Discuss!
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Aaron Taylor - About the Author:
Aaron D. Taylor is an author and a missionary. His newest book, "Alone with a Jihadist:A Biblical Response to Holy War" is scheduled to be released nationwide in October. For advanced copies, go to his website at http://www.aarondtaylor.com Follow Aaron on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/aarondtaylor
วันพฤหัสบดีที่ 23 กันยายน พ.ศ. 2553
Tiger Woods Divorce: Is Wife Elin Filing Divorce Papers?
Will TIGER Woods Divorce happen? Is the Tiger Woods - Elin Nordegren marriage over? There are many questions in everybody's mind about Tiger Woods and his wife Elin Nordegren. While many hope that the couple gets back together, reports say that Nordegren will not be able to forgive Woods for his doings and that she is finalizing the divorce process.
The famous rapper Snoop Dogg hopes that Tiger Woods could settle With Elin Nordegren, Snoop Dogg said, ‘Nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes. So let's let him get his life back with his wife and move on.
Apart from all this divorce controversy Tiger Woods got an invitation from WWE for hosting the Monday Night RAW which will take place at Miami, Florida. However, Woods might accept the offer to attend the Monday Night RAW.
"This situation is my fault and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me," Woods, 33, said on his official website. "I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again. This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible." Woods included.
Elin Nordegren has not spent a single day with Tiger since he returned from sex rehab to golf at The Masters a couple of weeks ago. In fact, she is living in a separate home away from Tiger with their children and nannies. Divorce is not that easy when children are also there and she has been talking to lawyers in both California and Florida to find out how to best go about the proceedings.
We will provide you latest updates on Tiger Woods divorce and you can find out more on Woods and his Elin on different websites.
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Merinews Network - About the Author:
Read here for more information related to Tiger Woods Scandal and Tiger Woods News.
The famous rapper Snoop Dogg hopes that Tiger Woods could settle With Elin Nordegren, Snoop Dogg said, ‘Nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes. So let's let him get his life back with his wife and move on.
Apart from all this divorce controversy Tiger Woods got an invitation from WWE for hosting the Monday Night RAW which will take place at Miami, Florida. However, Woods might accept the offer to attend the Monday Night RAW.
"This situation is my fault and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me," Woods, 33, said on his official website. "I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again. This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible." Woods included.
Elin Nordegren has not spent a single day with Tiger since he returned from sex rehab to golf at The Masters a couple of weeks ago. In fact, she is living in a separate home away from Tiger with their children and nannies. Divorce is not that easy when children are also there and she has been talking to lawyers in both California and Florida to find out how to best go about the proceedings.
We will provide you latest updates on Tiger Woods divorce and you can find out more on Woods and his Elin on different websites.
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Merinews Network - About the Author:
Read here for more information related to Tiger Woods Scandal and Tiger Woods News.
Hulk Hogan finally settles acrimonious divorce with wife
After 20 months of bickering, haggling, and nasty accusations, the Hogans have finally cut a deal. Wrestling superstar Hulk Hogan and his wife of 25 years, Linda Bollea, came to a settlement today in a Clearwater, Florida court. A short hearing -- during which the former spouses reportedly seemed to be on friendly terms again -- finalized their divorce settlement.
"The war is over," The Associated Press quoted Bollea, 49, as having said after the hearing. According to E! News, she later called the Michigan divorce Magazine settlement "good for our family. It's good for our kids. It's great being on speaking terms... with my ex-husband."
"Hulk is looking forward to moving on with his life," Hogan's publicist told E!, "and is very hopeful that he and Linda can maintain a friendship and work together as parents."
The divorce settlement (the details of which were not publicized) ends more than a year of squabbling in the tabloid spotlight. The couple, known legally as Terry and Linda Bollea, and their .Michigan divorce lawyers have clashed over Hogan's reported adultery with Christiane Plante, Bollea's alleged drug abuse, and property division. According to court documents from last year, the Hogans were worth between $26 and $32 million.
The Hogans married in late 1983; Bollea filed for divorce in November 2007. They have two children together, Brooke, 21, and Nick, who just turned 19.
Hulk Hogan, 55, shot to fame in the early 1980s with the World Wrestling Federation and the American Wrestling Association. Prior to the divorce proceedings, he and his family starred in the hit VH1 reality series Hogan Knows Best for more than two years.
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Josh D. Simon - About the Author:
Jeff Cotrill is the staff writer of Divorce Magazine and www.DivorceMagazine.com which offers information on Michigan Divorce Magazine,Michigan divorce law, Texas family law and Texas family lawyers
"The war is over," The Associated Press quoted Bollea, 49, as having said after the hearing. According to E! News, she later called the Michigan divorce Magazine settlement "good for our family. It's good for our kids. It's great being on speaking terms... with my ex-husband."
"Hulk is looking forward to moving on with his life," Hogan's publicist told E!, "and is very hopeful that he and Linda can maintain a friendship and work together as parents."
The divorce settlement (the details of which were not publicized) ends more than a year of squabbling in the tabloid spotlight. The couple, known legally as Terry and Linda Bollea, and their .Michigan divorce lawyers have clashed over Hogan's reported adultery with Christiane Plante, Bollea's alleged drug abuse, and property division. According to court documents from last year, the Hogans were worth between $26 and $32 million.
The Hogans married in late 1983; Bollea filed for divorce in November 2007. They have two children together, Brooke, 21, and Nick, who just turned 19.
Hulk Hogan, 55, shot to fame in the early 1980s with the World Wrestling Federation and the American Wrestling Association. Prior to the divorce proceedings, he and his family starred in the hit VH1 reality series Hogan Knows Best for more than two years.
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Josh D. Simon - About the Author:
Jeff Cotrill is the staff writer of Divorce Magazine and www.DivorceMagazine.com which offers information on Michigan Divorce Magazine,Michigan divorce law, Texas family law and Texas family lawyers
How an Appeal can Help in Your Divorce Court Case
It's imperative to know that the judge's decision is not the final say when it comes to your divorce court case. If you feel that you have been treated unfairly in the courtroom, or that the decision that was made in court by the judge was not based on fact, or that there is more evidence that was not considered in court, then you may have a strong case in having your final divorce decree appealed.
Appealing a court order is done through the Court of Appeals of that particular state. The Appellant is the one that is filing for an appeal—and the Appellee is the opposing party. You will typically file a Notice of Appeal before anything else, and then you will have to pay court costs for both the county your original trial was in as well as court costs for the appeals court. You can, however, file a Pauper's Affidavit to verify that you are not in the financial state to pay for these fees, and can perhaps have them waived by the courts at the judge's discretion.
Once you have a docket number through the Court of Appeals, you will file a brief. This is basically the paperwork stating why you feel you should have the judge's decision in trial court appealed. Then, the Appellee can file a response if they feel it is necessary to help defend their case. From here, there are a number of judges that make a joint decision regarding the request for an appeal.
If you still feel as though you are not being treated fairly, even by the Court of Appeals in your state, you can always file an appeal through the U.S. Federal Court of Appeals if you desire. No matter what, it's important to understand that the judge's final decision in your case is not always solid and firm.
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Dennis Gac - About the Author:
For a wealth of free information on Father's Rights winning information, check out Dennis Gac's website at fathershelphotline.com. Gac is often referred to as the world's number one father's rights consultant, and has helped thousands of fathers get their children through the court systems, despite everything society has against them. Join Dennis Gac and the National Brotherhood of Father's Rights!
Appealing a court order is done through the Court of Appeals of that particular state. The Appellant is the one that is filing for an appeal—and the Appellee is the opposing party. You will typically file a Notice of Appeal before anything else, and then you will have to pay court costs for both the county your original trial was in as well as court costs for the appeals court. You can, however, file a Pauper's Affidavit to verify that you are not in the financial state to pay for these fees, and can perhaps have them waived by the courts at the judge's discretion.
Once you have a docket number through the Court of Appeals, you will file a brief. This is basically the paperwork stating why you feel you should have the judge's decision in trial court appealed. Then, the Appellee can file a response if they feel it is necessary to help defend their case. From here, there are a number of judges that make a joint decision regarding the request for an appeal.
If you still feel as though you are not being treated fairly, even by the Court of Appeals in your state, you can always file an appeal through the U.S. Federal Court of Appeals if you desire. No matter what, it's important to understand that the judge's final decision in your case is not always solid and firm.
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(ArticlesBase SC #2368888)
Dennis Gac - About the Author:
For a wealth of free information on Father's Rights winning information, check out Dennis Gac's website at fathershelphotline.com. Gac is often referred to as the world's number one father's rights consultant, and has helped thousands of fathers get their children through the court systems, despite everything society has against them. Join Dennis Gac and the National Brotherhood of Father's Rights!
Divorce: 6 Tips to Help You in Divorce Court
There are many things you can do to avoid an all-out war in divorce court. Here are 6 tips to keep in mind even before hiring a lawyer ( but they may not be useful if there are issues of domestic violence in your case):
1. Understand that information is key. This applies to not just the information on financial issues or basic facts, but also to information on the divorce process and alternatives to fighting in divorce court. Get it while you're not under the financial and emotional stress of a court case; you might be able to use it to make peace somewhere along the way.
2. Depending on your relationship with your spouse, discuss with him or her which approach you want to take first: mediation, mediation together with a lawyer for each, or just get separate lawyers. The chances for each of you to be satisfied--not happy, just satisfied--are better and will cost you less if you try either of the first two options before getting.
3. If you have children, speak with your spouse and try to get him or her to keep them out of the divorce. This means not using the children as weapons against each other and always trying to think of what's in their best interest.
4. If you're going to hire a lawyer, get referrals from your friends. Then, see at least three lawyers before you hire any one. Understand that a lawyer is there to help you and guide you, but you are always the one in control of the decision to fight or settle some or all of the issues at any time.
5. Finally, if nothing works and you end up fighting it out in divorce court, try to make assessments as often as you can to see what can be settled, and what must be decided by a judge.
6. If things become too much for you and your children, consider getting counseling for you and them. Divorce, even the friendliest one, is usually emotionally difficult.
These tips are not a guarantee that everything will be smooth sailing in your divorce. But staying aware and involved in the process will lessen the frustration and hurt that could cloud your judgment to help you resolve the situation, not to mention that it can also save you money.
For information on what to expect in divorce court, visit http://www.divorcecourtreport.com.
(c) Vivian Rodriguez
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Vivian Rodriguez - About the Author:
For more information on divorce court visit, http://www.divorcecourtreport.com
Vivian C. Rodriguez is a national consultant on case strategy on litigation and alternative dispute resolutions for parties headed for divorce court to avoid expensive and emotionally frustrating divorces. In Florida she is a family trial attorney and certified family mediator.
1. Understand that information is key. This applies to not just the information on financial issues or basic facts, but also to information on the divorce process and alternatives to fighting in divorce court. Get it while you're not under the financial and emotional stress of a court case; you might be able to use it to make peace somewhere along the way.
2. Depending on your relationship with your spouse, discuss with him or her which approach you want to take first: mediation, mediation together with a lawyer for each, or just get separate lawyers. The chances for each of you to be satisfied--not happy, just satisfied--are better and will cost you less if you try either of the first two options before getting.
3. If you have children, speak with your spouse and try to get him or her to keep them out of the divorce. This means not using the children as weapons against each other and always trying to think of what's in their best interest.
4. If you're going to hire a lawyer, get referrals from your friends. Then, see at least three lawyers before you hire any one. Understand that a lawyer is there to help you and guide you, but you are always the one in control of the decision to fight or settle some or all of the issues at any time.
5. Finally, if nothing works and you end up fighting it out in divorce court, try to make assessments as often as you can to see what can be settled, and what must be decided by a judge.
6. If things become too much for you and your children, consider getting counseling for you and them. Divorce, even the friendliest one, is usually emotionally difficult.
These tips are not a guarantee that everything will be smooth sailing in your divorce. But staying aware and involved in the process will lessen the frustration and hurt that could cloud your judgment to help you resolve the situation, not to mention that it can also save you money.
For information on what to expect in divorce court, visit http://www.divorcecourtreport.com.
(c) Vivian Rodriguez
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Vivian Rodriguez - About the Author:
For more information on divorce court visit, http://www.divorcecourtreport.com
Vivian C. Rodriguez is a national consultant on case strategy on litigation and alternative dispute resolutions for parties headed for divorce court to avoid expensive and emotionally frustrating divorces. In Florida she is a family trial attorney and certified family mediator.
Uncontested Divorce- an Inexpensive Approach to Split Your Relation
Many times people get married for the wrong reasons, and forecasting the future many years down the road is quite unfeasible. Luckily, in the United States it is quite ease to get a quick divorce, that’s if it stays uncontested by the life partner. If both the spouses doesn't accept with all the terms and conditions of the uncontested divorce that’s when your going to require a lawyer.
While filling the form for an uncontested divorce it is not necessary that you have a lawyer. An uncontested divorce process is as ease as you fill a form. If both the partners accept the terms and condition that an uncontested divorce is the best way, then filing for divorce will be very cheap and simple. You can find many online paralegal firms who are providing uncontested divorce kits that help you prepare your own for a mere twenty bucks, or pay a paralegal or attorney to prepare the form for you for about two-hundred bucks. If both you and your spouse can not accept on how the assets you jointly own can be divided then you will require a lawyer to contest the divorce in court and allow the judge to decide how to divide those assets for you. However, If you and your spouse accept on how your combine owned assets can be spited then you qualify to file for an uncontested divorce, which doesn't requires a lawyer.
In a traditional contested divorce, which needs a lawyer, the judge will generally do what is called a "trial division method", where couples will split for awhile to see how life works without each other. But if you want to go the expensive route and If the judge put you two on trial division you could change your mind about divorce before the proceedings are settled; but this will cost you even more money, plus all the time you wasted just to get to this point.
Now, i think you got a good idea about the vast differences between contested divorces and uncontested divorces, let me be clear about uncontested divorces, which is clearly the best route to go. An uncontested divorce means that both the spouses comprehensively accept that quick divorce technique is in their best interest and there is nothing left to argue about, either in terms of the divorce itself or the separations of assets. Some life partners may have previously divide their assets and moved out, so filing for online divorce for them is almost just a formality.
Occasionally persons will bring one to the processing just in case their life partners begin to argue about the terms and conditions of the divorce. Lawyers may create argument and you may be in many future trials arguing about the conditions of the contested divorce for a long time to come with your expensive trial lawyer at your side. However, if your partner brought a lawyer to the proceeding and is arguing about the conditions of the divorce, then it's seemingly in your best interest to contact a divorce lawyer instantly.
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Frank Miller - About the Author:
Frank Miller is originator of www.legaldivide.com,Online Divorce Florida an Online Divorce company, any one who is looking Uncontested Divorce, wants quick divorce or wants to use our services like Online Divorce Florida, Florida Online Divorce,Quick Divorce, Uncontested Divorce,Divorce Online, Florida Divorce, Online Divorce contact also for SEO Services India
While filling the form for an uncontested divorce it is not necessary that you have a lawyer. An uncontested divorce process is as ease as you fill a form. If both the partners accept the terms and condition that an uncontested divorce is the best way, then filing for divorce will be very cheap and simple. You can find many online paralegal firms who are providing uncontested divorce kits that help you prepare your own for a mere twenty bucks, or pay a paralegal or attorney to prepare the form for you for about two-hundred bucks. If both you and your spouse can not accept on how the assets you jointly own can be divided then you will require a lawyer to contest the divorce in court and allow the judge to decide how to divide those assets for you. However, If you and your spouse accept on how your combine owned assets can be spited then you qualify to file for an uncontested divorce, which doesn't requires a lawyer.
In a traditional contested divorce, which needs a lawyer, the judge will generally do what is called a "trial division method", where couples will split for awhile to see how life works without each other. But if you want to go the expensive route and If the judge put you two on trial division you could change your mind about divorce before the proceedings are settled; but this will cost you even more money, plus all the time you wasted just to get to this point.
Now, i think you got a good idea about the vast differences between contested divorces and uncontested divorces, let me be clear about uncontested divorces, which is clearly the best route to go. An uncontested divorce means that both the spouses comprehensively accept that quick divorce technique is in their best interest and there is nothing left to argue about, either in terms of the divorce itself or the separations of assets. Some life partners may have previously divide their assets and moved out, so filing for online divorce for them is almost just a formality.
Occasionally persons will bring one to the processing just in case their life partners begin to argue about the terms and conditions of the divorce. Lawyers may create argument and you may be in many future trials arguing about the conditions of the contested divorce for a long time to come with your expensive trial lawyer at your side. However, if your partner brought a lawyer to the proceeding and is arguing about the conditions of the divorce, then it's seemingly in your best interest to contact a divorce lawyer instantly.
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Frank Miller - About the Author:
Frank Miller is originator of www.legaldivide.com,Online Divorce Florida an Online Divorce company, any one who is looking Uncontested Divorce, wants quick divorce or wants to use our services like Online Divorce Florida, Florida Online Divorce,Quick Divorce, Uncontested Divorce,Divorce Online, Florida Divorce, Online Divorce contact also for SEO Services India
FAILED MARRIAGES, ONE DIVORCE TOO MANY: By Chris Okafor
Marriage is an act of joining a man and a woman together in a holy matrimony as husband and a wife. It often calls for fun fares, weddings, celebrations and conviviality.
People spend a lot of money in planning for these big occasions and sometimes end it up cruising around the world on honeymoon. The couples had, without doubt, in church and in present of a Reverend Father, vowed to be faithful and to love one another until death do them apart. To most people who had partaken in this vow, it must be upheld with respect and dignity at all times. They sees marriage as a sacrament while to many, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying "I do" today and within the next 4 months, it is all over.
This school of thoughts viewed the entire institution of marriage as "free-entry-free exit" kind of a contact. It doesn’t matter if their well publicised and celebrated marriage would come to a halt within months of its inception.
On the other hand, divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of marriage or marital vow before the death of either spouse. It can be contrasted with annulment, which is a declaration that marriage is void, though the effect maybe recognised in such unions such as spousal supports, child custody and distribution of property.
The problem of failed marriages and divorce around the world particularly Europe and America is so enormous and inexplicable especially when there is no basis to determine necessary or sufficient causation. It is, indeed, a social problem with a hereditary attachment of which many are completely ignorant of and never believe in existence of the following concept which I am going to outline here. When one decides to put an end to his/her marriage on a mere provocation and on issues that ought to be resolved amicably, you have no moral justification to tell your children in future that there is anything wrong with divorce or having children with different parents.
In Nigeria, for instance, there are some ethnic groups that advise their male children never to marry from a single parent or a broken home. The ironic reasons are palpable. They believed that marriage is all about tolerance and the woman being submissive to their chosen husband at all time and therefore no amount of disagreement between couples that would warrant a woman to abscond from home. In most cases, men reserve the exclusive right to send their wives out of their matrimonial home on the ground of infidelity and promiscuity.
Women are normally the victim and in contrast, because of male dominance, cultural and religious affiliations, it is customary for people in most African countries to come back home from their respective daily activities and announce to their wives that they are marrying the second or the third wife as the case may be without questioning. They have the sole right as well to have as many girlfriend(s) as it pleases them or go out and come back at will.
In fact, it is not only a taboo but it is also an abomination for average African woman to go out like their European or American counterparts, get drunk and have a one night stand that often lead to pregnancies. Such women would possibly be disgraced before their children and sent packing from home without compassion of any kind.
This is liken to " if you cannot stand the heat get out of the kitchen" kind of marriage which have been viewed in some quarters as some kind of slavery. The truth of the matter is that some of these women knew what it meant to them for their children to be jointly raised and as such, they choose to stand the heat rather than getting out of the kitchen. The respect to their chosen husbands, no matter what he does or did is total and it is fundamentally important that they do not bring shame to their respective family no matter how wretched, poor or rich that family may be.
Recent research has shown that the evolution of marriage has taken place despite an increased life expectancy that has theoretically made a longer and healthier life together as a couple possible. Although in the past, the death of one of the two spouses was the typical end of marriage, divorce is now the most frequently observed cause.
In Switzerland, for example, the number of newly divorced residents actually exceeded the number of newly widowed residents in 1988 (OFS, 1990).
This is a relatively recent phenomenon, having existing for less than half a century and even less in some countries where it was forbidden or severely restricted until very recently (The mid 1970s in Portugal and Italy, 1981 in Spain, and not until 1997 in Ireland). Divorce is not only a legal instrument freeing a couple from wedlock, but an act that is at the heart of familial and social processes.
To understand the rise in the number of divorces in various countries, one must first understand the reasons causing couples to marry. France, Italy, Sweden, and Switzerland are representative of the diversity of marital and familial situations existing in Europe.
What we see sometimes in American reality television is an eye saw. An unacceptable situation where one is married and within 3 months, the man is sleeping with his wife mother. There is no basis of comparison between African marriages and other people around the world because what they see as a way of life is completely forbidden in Africa. Again, most people see this as being totally primitive.
It is difficult for average women in Europe generally to stick to their marriage when they eventually realized that their husbands are cheating on them. That would invariably be the last straw and would be used as an affront to divorce in which they would be beneficiary to their husband’s stupendous wealth and without recourse to how such separation would affect their children.
The ratio is 1 out of every hundred and we have seen this ratio at work sometime ago when a footballer wife defiantly resisted their former assistant shameless confession in order to thwart her marriage. She chooses to stand firmly by her husband throughout the trying period. In United States, during Bill Clinton era, a similar newspaper unconfirmed report between Bill and a Monica Lewinski almost ruin the marriage between the then president and his wife. Again, the latter choose to remain with the husband rather than divorce.
This is just one in a million and like a reoccurring decimal, one hardly turns the pages of newspapers these days without reading about ones divorce or the other. There are countless number of lawyers placing adverts on newspapers and magazines for cheap divorce rates.
Today, one of the primary reasons why most celebrities cannot marry is that they are not ready to let what they have laboured all their entire life to be given to a nitwit in the name of divorce settlement .It is quite obvious that people go into marriage for number of reasons while some people, most especially women, go into marriage for the financial gains not really because they needed a family.
According to Jenny Burley and Francis Regan, the Irish story of family law reform in the post-second world war era is quite different from the experience of other countries. One of the main reasons why the story is different is that from 1937 divorce was banned under the Irish constitution. Divorce law reform therefore required a referendum to change the constitution. Even though there were thousand of separated people in Ireland in early 1980s, the proposal to introduce divorce was vociferously opposed in referenda in 1986 and 1995.
The opposition to constitutional change was fuelled by anti-divorce campaigns which used fear tactics, related to money, children, property and inheritance to argue that divorce would tear apart the very fabric of Irish society. The campaign also claimed that divorce would open floodgates to marriage breakdown. The availability of this divorce in Ireland since 1997 has not, however, borne out of dire predictions of the anti-divorce campaigners.
Successful and failed marriages have its origin and background from family circles and some people has argued that it would take a divine intervention for the products of broken homes to triumph where their parents have failed. This is simple. Children learn a great deal from the good and the bad we do at home.
What are responsible for most ignominious exit in most marriages particularly from most women are sheer greed, drink and drugs, insatiable lust and lack of tolerance, which unavoidably, is contributing immensely to the drastic decadence in family and societal values.
The devastating effects of divorce on children and families are enormous. Research made by Dr.Todd.E Linaman on families noted the following:
Future effects of divorce
• Children deal with the effects of divorce not only as children, but into adulthood. The effects of divorce will impact the next generation of children as well.
• The child's suffering from the effects of divorce does not reach its peak at the time of the divorce and then level off. Rather, the emotional effects of divorce can be played and replayed throughout a child's life.
Academic effects of divorce
• Children from divorced families drop out of school at twice the rate of children from intact families, and they have lower rates of graduation from high school and college.
• Children from divorced homes performed more poorly in reading, spelling, and math and repeated a grade more frequently than did children not facing the effects of divorce.
Social effects of divorce
• Children of divorced parents are significantly more likely to become delinquent by age 15, regardless of when the divorce took place, than are children not dealing with the effects of divorce.
• The single best predictor of teen suicide is parental divorce and living in a single-parent household.
• Comparing all family structures, drug use in children is lowest among children not facing the effects of divorce.
Emotional effects of divorce
• Divorce has been found to be associated with a higher incidence of depression; withdrawal from friends and family; aggressive, impulsive, or hyperactive behavior; and either withdrawing from participation in the classroom or becoming disruptive.
• Adult children of divorced parents experience mental health problems significantly more often than do the adult children who didn't witness the effects of divorce as children.
Relational effects of divorce
• After divorce, children tend to become more emotionally distant from both parents.
• As adults, children of divorced parents are half as likely to be close to their parents as are children not dealing with the effects of divorce.
• In their own marriages, children of divorced parents are more likely to be unhappy, to escalate conflicts, and to reduce communication with their spouses.
• Some studies concerning the probability of divorce for children of divorced parents have found the risk to be more than twice the risk for children who haven't personally experienced the effects of divorce.
This is just one of the numerous factors affecting divorce on families and the list is endless. One thing about people that I have met in my life is that they do not realize the impact of the mistake they must have made in terms of making a decision that would ultimately shape their life until such mistake begin to hit them. It is, however important amidst these factors that we should think very carefully before considering divorce.
Chris Okafor
Galway Ireland: chrisokafor@myself.com
Retrieved from "http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/failed-marriages-one-divorce-too-many-by-chris-okafor-823944.html"
(ArticlesBase SC #823944)
Chris Okafor - About the Author:
Chris Obiajulu Okafor was born in Ogwashi-Uku in Delta state of Nigeria few months before the outbreak of the protracted Nigeria civil war. He had both his primary and post primary education in Ogwashi- Uku and later studied Mass Communication in the University Of Lagos.He came to Ireland in 2002 where he is presently living with his wife and 3 children. Chris is a journalist and a creative writer that has participated in many comtemporary issues both here and in Nigeria.
People spend a lot of money in planning for these big occasions and sometimes end it up cruising around the world on honeymoon. The couples had, without doubt, in church and in present of a Reverend Father, vowed to be faithful and to love one another until death do them apart. To most people who had partaken in this vow, it must be upheld with respect and dignity at all times. They sees marriage as a sacrament while to many, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying "I do" today and within the next 4 months, it is all over.
This school of thoughts viewed the entire institution of marriage as "free-entry-free exit" kind of a contact. It doesn’t matter if their well publicised and celebrated marriage would come to a halt within months of its inception.
On the other hand, divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of marriage or marital vow before the death of either spouse. It can be contrasted with annulment, which is a declaration that marriage is void, though the effect maybe recognised in such unions such as spousal supports, child custody and distribution of property.
The problem of failed marriages and divorce around the world particularly Europe and America is so enormous and inexplicable especially when there is no basis to determine necessary or sufficient causation. It is, indeed, a social problem with a hereditary attachment of which many are completely ignorant of and never believe in existence of the following concept which I am going to outline here. When one decides to put an end to his/her marriage on a mere provocation and on issues that ought to be resolved amicably, you have no moral justification to tell your children in future that there is anything wrong with divorce or having children with different parents.
In Nigeria, for instance, there are some ethnic groups that advise their male children never to marry from a single parent or a broken home. The ironic reasons are palpable. They believed that marriage is all about tolerance and the woman being submissive to their chosen husband at all time and therefore no amount of disagreement between couples that would warrant a woman to abscond from home. In most cases, men reserve the exclusive right to send their wives out of their matrimonial home on the ground of infidelity and promiscuity.
Women are normally the victim and in contrast, because of male dominance, cultural and religious affiliations, it is customary for people in most African countries to come back home from their respective daily activities and announce to their wives that they are marrying the second or the third wife as the case may be without questioning. They have the sole right as well to have as many girlfriend(s) as it pleases them or go out and come back at will.
In fact, it is not only a taboo but it is also an abomination for average African woman to go out like their European or American counterparts, get drunk and have a one night stand that often lead to pregnancies. Such women would possibly be disgraced before their children and sent packing from home without compassion of any kind.
This is liken to " if you cannot stand the heat get out of the kitchen" kind of marriage which have been viewed in some quarters as some kind of slavery. The truth of the matter is that some of these women knew what it meant to them for their children to be jointly raised and as such, they choose to stand the heat rather than getting out of the kitchen. The respect to their chosen husbands, no matter what he does or did is total and it is fundamentally important that they do not bring shame to their respective family no matter how wretched, poor or rich that family may be.
Recent research has shown that the evolution of marriage has taken place despite an increased life expectancy that has theoretically made a longer and healthier life together as a couple possible. Although in the past, the death of one of the two spouses was the typical end of marriage, divorce is now the most frequently observed cause.
In Switzerland, for example, the number of newly divorced residents actually exceeded the number of newly widowed residents in 1988 (OFS, 1990).
This is a relatively recent phenomenon, having existing for less than half a century and even less in some countries where it was forbidden or severely restricted until very recently (The mid 1970s in Portugal and Italy, 1981 in Spain, and not until 1997 in Ireland). Divorce is not only a legal instrument freeing a couple from wedlock, but an act that is at the heart of familial and social processes.
To understand the rise in the number of divorces in various countries, one must first understand the reasons causing couples to marry. France, Italy, Sweden, and Switzerland are representative of the diversity of marital and familial situations existing in Europe.
What we see sometimes in American reality television is an eye saw. An unacceptable situation where one is married and within 3 months, the man is sleeping with his wife mother. There is no basis of comparison between African marriages and other people around the world because what they see as a way of life is completely forbidden in Africa. Again, most people see this as being totally primitive.
It is difficult for average women in Europe generally to stick to their marriage when they eventually realized that their husbands are cheating on them. That would invariably be the last straw and would be used as an affront to divorce in which they would be beneficiary to their husband’s stupendous wealth and without recourse to how such separation would affect their children.
The ratio is 1 out of every hundred and we have seen this ratio at work sometime ago when a footballer wife defiantly resisted their former assistant shameless confession in order to thwart her marriage. She chooses to stand firmly by her husband throughout the trying period. In United States, during Bill Clinton era, a similar newspaper unconfirmed report between Bill and a Monica Lewinski almost ruin the marriage between the then president and his wife. Again, the latter choose to remain with the husband rather than divorce.
This is just one in a million and like a reoccurring decimal, one hardly turns the pages of newspapers these days without reading about ones divorce or the other. There are countless number of lawyers placing adverts on newspapers and magazines for cheap divorce rates.
Today, one of the primary reasons why most celebrities cannot marry is that they are not ready to let what they have laboured all their entire life to be given to a nitwit in the name of divorce settlement .It is quite obvious that people go into marriage for number of reasons while some people, most especially women, go into marriage for the financial gains not really because they needed a family.
According to Jenny Burley and Francis Regan, the Irish story of family law reform in the post-second world war era is quite different from the experience of other countries. One of the main reasons why the story is different is that from 1937 divorce was banned under the Irish constitution. Divorce law reform therefore required a referendum to change the constitution. Even though there were thousand of separated people in Ireland in early 1980s, the proposal to introduce divorce was vociferously opposed in referenda in 1986 and 1995.
The opposition to constitutional change was fuelled by anti-divorce campaigns which used fear tactics, related to money, children, property and inheritance to argue that divorce would tear apart the very fabric of Irish society. The campaign also claimed that divorce would open floodgates to marriage breakdown. The availability of this divorce in Ireland since 1997 has not, however, borne out of dire predictions of the anti-divorce campaigners.
Successful and failed marriages have its origin and background from family circles and some people has argued that it would take a divine intervention for the products of broken homes to triumph where their parents have failed. This is simple. Children learn a great deal from the good and the bad we do at home.
What are responsible for most ignominious exit in most marriages particularly from most women are sheer greed, drink and drugs, insatiable lust and lack of tolerance, which unavoidably, is contributing immensely to the drastic decadence in family and societal values.
The devastating effects of divorce on children and families are enormous. Research made by Dr.Todd.E Linaman on families noted the following:
Future effects of divorce
• Children deal with the effects of divorce not only as children, but into adulthood. The effects of divorce will impact the next generation of children as well.
• The child's suffering from the effects of divorce does not reach its peak at the time of the divorce and then level off. Rather, the emotional effects of divorce can be played and replayed throughout a child's life.
Academic effects of divorce
• Children from divorced families drop out of school at twice the rate of children from intact families, and they have lower rates of graduation from high school and college.
• Children from divorced homes performed more poorly in reading, spelling, and math and repeated a grade more frequently than did children not facing the effects of divorce.
Social effects of divorce
• Children of divorced parents are significantly more likely to become delinquent by age 15, regardless of when the divorce took place, than are children not dealing with the effects of divorce.
• The single best predictor of teen suicide is parental divorce and living in a single-parent household.
• Comparing all family structures, drug use in children is lowest among children not facing the effects of divorce.
Emotional effects of divorce
• Divorce has been found to be associated with a higher incidence of depression; withdrawal from friends and family; aggressive, impulsive, or hyperactive behavior; and either withdrawing from participation in the classroom or becoming disruptive.
• Adult children of divorced parents experience mental health problems significantly more often than do the adult children who didn't witness the effects of divorce as children.
Relational effects of divorce
• After divorce, children tend to become more emotionally distant from both parents.
• As adults, children of divorced parents are half as likely to be close to their parents as are children not dealing with the effects of divorce.
• In their own marriages, children of divorced parents are more likely to be unhappy, to escalate conflicts, and to reduce communication with their spouses.
• Some studies concerning the probability of divorce for children of divorced parents have found the risk to be more than twice the risk for children who haven't personally experienced the effects of divorce.
This is just one of the numerous factors affecting divorce on families and the list is endless. One thing about people that I have met in my life is that they do not realize the impact of the mistake they must have made in terms of making a decision that would ultimately shape their life until such mistake begin to hit them. It is, however important amidst these factors that we should think very carefully before considering divorce.
Chris Okafor
Galway Ireland: chrisokafor@myself.com
Retrieved from "http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/failed-marriages-one-divorce-too-many-by-chris-okafor-823944.html"
(ArticlesBase SC #823944)
Chris Okafor - About the Author:
Chris Obiajulu Okafor was born in Ogwashi-Uku in Delta state of Nigeria few months before the outbreak of the protracted Nigeria civil war. He had both his primary and post primary education in Ogwashi- Uku and later studied Mass Communication in the University Of Lagos.He came to Ireland in 2002 where he is presently living with his wife and 3 children. Chris is a journalist and a creative writer that has participated in many comtemporary issues both here and in Nigeria.
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