First, a confession. I watched Jon and Kate Gosselin's break-up on Monday night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8. It may have cost me my man card, but I couldn't help it. I was glued. Having seen Jon and Kate on the cover of Charisma magazine and their book at my local Christian bookstore, I was grieved to watch another Christian marriage go down the tubes--in front of millions of people. What happened?
Many, of course, will point to the show itself as the downfall of their marriage, and that could very well be true; but as I watched the separate interviews last night (in my defense, last night was the only full episode I've ever watched) I couldn't help but notice the overwhelming emphasis on both of their parts that the ensuing divorce was "for the sake of the children."
In interview after interview, both Jon and Kate emphasized repeatedly that their first priority was their children. What was absent from the discussion was the priority of their marriage. It seems that their underlying assumption was that the health of their marriage had little to do with the physical and emotional well-being of their children.
Understand that I am not writing this in any way to pass judgment on Jon and Kate. Divorce is always a difficult thing to go through and there could very well be extenuating circumstances that the public doesn't know. The reason for me writing this is to pose a question to my readers.
I've always understood that the priorities of married people with children should be:
1. God
2. Spouse
3. Children
The reason for this, at least as it was always explained to me, is that when husbands and wives give priority to their relationship with each other, it provides a stable environment for the emotional health of children. Another way of putting it is to say that healthy children flow naturally from healthy marriages. Therefore, the marriage should come first.
Jon and Kate's assumption on the other hand, and many, perhaps the majority in my generation, seems to be that the priority flow chart looks like this:
1. God
2. Children
3. Spouse
I'm making an assumption of course about the God part. Since I don't know Jon and Kate personally, call that a benefit of a doubt. Here's the question I'd like to pose to my readers. Which of these flow charts do you think is the most accurate? Of course, I realize that if a spouse is a potential danger to children, then the other spouse should do whatever they need to do to protect their children. I'm talking about the marital priorities when normal problems arise. Is the flow chart that I've always understood accurate? Why or why not?
Discuss!
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Aaron Taylor - About the Author:
Aaron D. Taylor is an author and a missionary. His newest book, "Alone with a Jihadist:A Biblical Response to Holy War" is scheduled to be released nationwide in October. For advanced copies, go to his website at http://www.aarondtaylor.com Follow Aaron on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/aarondtaylor
วันพฤหัสบดีที่ 23 กันยายน พ.ศ. 2553
Tiger Woods Divorce: Is Wife Elin Filing Divorce Papers?
Will TIGER Woods Divorce happen? Is the Tiger Woods - Elin Nordegren marriage over? There are many questions in everybody's mind about Tiger Woods and his wife Elin Nordegren. While many hope that the couple gets back together, reports say that Nordegren will not be able to forgive Woods for his doings and that she is finalizing the divorce process.
The famous rapper Snoop Dogg hopes that Tiger Woods could settle With Elin Nordegren, Snoop Dogg said, ‘Nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes. So let's let him get his life back with his wife and move on.
Apart from all this divorce controversy Tiger Woods got an invitation from WWE for hosting the Monday Night RAW which will take place at Miami, Florida. However, Woods might accept the offer to attend the Monday Night RAW.
"This situation is my fault and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me," Woods, 33, said on his official website. "I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again. This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible." Woods included.
Elin Nordegren has not spent a single day with Tiger since he returned from sex rehab to golf at The Masters a couple of weeks ago. In fact, she is living in a separate home away from Tiger with their children and nannies. Divorce is not that easy when children are also there and she has been talking to lawyers in both California and Florida to find out how to best go about the proceedings.
We will provide you latest updates on Tiger Woods divorce and you can find out more on Woods and his Elin on different websites.
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Merinews Network - About the Author:
Read here for more information related to Tiger Woods Scandal and Tiger Woods News.
The famous rapper Snoop Dogg hopes that Tiger Woods could settle With Elin Nordegren, Snoop Dogg said, ‘Nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes. So let's let him get his life back with his wife and move on.
Apart from all this divorce controversy Tiger Woods got an invitation from WWE for hosting the Monday Night RAW which will take place at Miami, Florida. However, Woods might accept the offer to attend the Monday Night RAW.
"This situation is my fault and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me," Woods, 33, said on his official website. "I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again. This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible." Woods included.
Elin Nordegren has not spent a single day with Tiger since he returned from sex rehab to golf at The Masters a couple of weeks ago. In fact, she is living in a separate home away from Tiger with their children and nannies. Divorce is not that easy when children are also there and she has been talking to lawyers in both California and Florida to find out how to best go about the proceedings.
We will provide you latest updates on Tiger Woods divorce and you can find out more on Woods and his Elin on different websites.
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Merinews Network - About the Author:
Read here for more information related to Tiger Woods Scandal and Tiger Woods News.
Hulk Hogan finally settles acrimonious divorce with wife
After 20 months of bickering, haggling, and nasty accusations, the Hogans have finally cut a deal. Wrestling superstar Hulk Hogan and his wife of 25 years, Linda Bollea, came to a settlement today in a Clearwater, Florida court. A short hearing -- during which the former spouses reportedly seemed to be on friendly terms again -- finalized their divorce settlement.
"The war is over," The Associated Press quoted Bollea, 49, as having said after the hearing. According to E! News, she later called the Michigan divorce Magazine settlement "good for our family. It's good for our kids. It's great being on speaking terms... with my ex-husband."
"Hulk is looking forward to moving on with his life," Hogan's publicist told E!, "and is very hopeful that he and Linda can maintain a friendship and work together as parents."
The divorce settlement (the details of which were not publicized) ends more than a year of squabbling in the tabloid spotlight. The couple, known legally as Terry and Linda Bollea, and their .Michigan divorce lawyers have clashed over Hogan's reported adultery with Christiane Plante, Bollea's alleged drug abuse, and property division. According to court documents from last year, the Hogans were worth between $26 and $32 million.
The Hogans married in late 1983; Bollea filed for divorce in November 2007. They have two children together, Brooke, 21, and Nick, who just turned 19.
Hulk Hogan, 55, shot to fame in the early 1980s with the World Wrestling Federation and the American Wrestling Association. Prior to the divorce proceedings, he and his family starred in the hit VH1 reality series Hogan Knows Best for more than two years.
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Josh D. Simon - About the Author:
Jeff Cotrill is the staff writer of Divorce Magazine and www.DivorceMagazine.com which offers information on Michigan Divorce Magazine,Michigan divorce law, Texas family law and Texas family lawyers
"The war is over," The Associated Press quoted Bollea, 49, as having said after the hearing. According to E! News, she later called the Michigan divorce Magazine settlement "good for our family. It's good for our kids. It's great being on speaking terms... with my ex-husband."
"Hulk is looking forward to moving on with his life," Hogan's publicist told E!, "and is very hopeful that he and Linda can maintain a friendship and work together as parents."
The divorce settlement (the details of which were not publicized) ends more than a year of squabbling in the tabloid spotlight. The couple, known legally as Terry and Linda Bollea, and their .Michigan divorce lawyers have clashed over Hogan's reported adultery with Christiane Plante, Bollea's alleged drug abuse, and property division. According to court documents from last year, the Hogans were worth between $26 and $32 million.
The Hogans married in late 1983; Bollea filed for divorce in November 2007. They have two children together, Brooke, 21, and Nick, who just turned 19.
Hulk Hogan, 55, shot to fame in the early 1980s with the World Wrestling Federation and the American Wrestling Association. Prior to the divorce proceedings, he and his family starred in the hit VH1 reality series Hogan Knows Best for more than two years.
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Josh D. Simon - About the Author:
Jeff Cotrill is the staff writer of Divorce Magazine and www.DivorceMagazine.com which offers information on Michigan Divorce Magazine,Michigan divorce law, Texas family law and Texas family lawyers
How an Appeal can Help in Your Divorce Court Case
It's imperative to know that the judge's decision is not the final say when it comes to your divorce court case. If you feel that you have been treated unfairly in the courtroom, or that the decision that was made in court by the judge was not based on fact, or that there is more evidence that was not considered in court, then you may have a strong case in having your final divorce decree appealed.
Appealing a court order is done through the Court of Appeals of that particular state. The Appellant is the one that is filing for an appeal—and the Appellee is the opposing party. You will typically file a Notice of Appeal before anything else, and then you will have to pay court costs for both the county your original trial was in as well as court costs for the appeals court. You can, however, file a Pauper's Affidavit to verify that you are not in the financial state to pay for these fees, and can perhaps have them waived by the courts at the judge's discretion.
Once you have a docket number through the Court of Appeals, you will file a brief. This is basically the paperwork stating why you feel you should have the judge's decision in trial court appealed. Then, the Appellee can file a response if they feel it is necessary to help defend their case. From here, there are a number of judges that make a joint decision regarding the request for an appeal.
If you still feel as though you are not being treated fairly, even by the Court of Appeals in your state, you can always file an appeal through the U.S. Federal Court of Appeals if you desire. No matter what, it's important to understand that the judge's final decision in your case is not always solid and firm.
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Dennis Gac - About the Author:
For a wealth of free information on Father's Rights winning information, check out Dennis Gac's website at fathershelphotline.com. Gac is often referred to as the world's number one father's rights consultant, and has helped thousands of fathers get their children through the court systems, despite everything society has against them. Join Dennis Gac and the National Brotherhood of Father's Rights!
Appealing a court order is done through the Court of Appeals of that particular state. The Appellant is the one that is filing for an appeal—and the Appellee is the opposing party. You will typically file a Notice of Appeal before anything else, and then you will have to pay court costs for both the county your original trial was in as well as court costs for the appeals court. You can, however, file a Pauper's Affidavit to verify that you are not in the financial state to pay for these fees, and can perhaps have them waived by the courts at the judge's discretion.
Once you have a docket number through the Court of Appeals, you will file a brief. This is basically the paperwork stating why you feel you should have the judge's decision in trial court appealed. Then, the Appellee can file a response if they feel it is necessary to help defend their case. From here, there are a number of judges that make a joint decision regarding the request for an appeal.
If you still feel as though you are not being treated fairly, even by the Court of Appeals in your state, you can always file an appeal through the U.S. Federal Court of Appeals if you desire. No matter what, it's important to understand that the judge's final decision in your case is not always solid and firm.
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(ArticlesBase SC #2368888)
Dennis Gac - About the Author:
For a wealth of free information on Father's Rights winning information, check out Dennis Gac's website at fathershelphotline.com. Gac is often referred to as the world's number one father's rights consultant, and has helped thousands of fathers get their children through the court systems, despite everything society has against them. Join Dennis Gac and the National Brotherhood of Father's Rights!
Divorce: 6 Tips to Help You in Divorce Court
There are many things you can do to avoid an all-out war in divorce court. Here are 6 tips to keep in mind even before hiring a lawyer ( but they may not be useful if there are issues of domestic violence in your case):
1. Understand that information is key. This applies to not just the information on financial issues or basic facts, but also to information on the divorce process and alternatives to fighting in divorce court. Get it while you're not under the financial and emotional stress of a court case; you might be able to use it to make peace somewhere along the way.
2. Depending on your relationship with your spouse, discuss with him or her which approach you want to take first: mediation, mediation together with a lawyer for each, or just get separate lawyers. The chances for each of you to be satisfied--not happy, just satisfied--are better and will cost you less if you try either of the first two options before getting.
3. If you have children, speak with your spouse and try to get him or her to keep them out of the divorce. This means not using the children as weapons against each other and always trying to think of what's in their best interest.
4. If you're going to hire a lawyer, get referrals from your friends. Then, see at least three lawyers before you hire any one. Understand that a lawyer is there to help you and guide you, but you are always the one in control of the decision to fight or settle some or all of the issues at any time.
5. Finally, if nothing works and you end up fighting it out in divorce court, try to make assessments as often as you can to see what can be settled, and what must be decided by a judge.
6. If things become too much for you and your children, consider getting counseling for you and them. Divorce, even the friendliest one, is usually emotionally difficult.
These tips are not a guarantee that everything will be smooth sailing in your divorce. But staying aware and involved in the process will lessen the frustration and hurt that could cloud your judgment to help you resolve the situation, not to mention that it can also save you money.
For information on what to expect in divorce court, visit http://www.divorcecourtreport.com.
(c) Vivian Rodriguez
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Vivian Rodriguez - About the Author:
For more information on divorce court visit, http://www.divorcecourtreport.com
Vivian C. Rodriguez is a national consultant on case strategy on litigation and alternative dispute resolutions for parties headed for divorce court to avoid expensive and emotionally frustrating divorces. In Florida she is a family trial attorney and certified family mediator.
1. Understand that information is key. This applies to not just the information on financial issues or basic facts, but also to information on the divorce process and alternatives to fighting in divorce court. Get it while you're not under the financial and emotional stress of a court case; you might be able to use it to make peace somewhere along the way.
2. Depending on your relationship with your spouse, discuss with him or her which approach you want to take first: mediation, mediation together with a lawyer for each, or just get separate lawyers. The chances for each of you to be satisfied--not happy, just satisfied--are better and will cost you less if you try either of the first two options before getting.
3. If you have children, speak with your spouse and try to get him or her to keep them out of the divorce. This means not using the children as weapons against each other and always trying to think of what's in their best interest.
4. If you're going to hire a lawyer, get referrals from your friends. Then, see at least three lawyers before you hire any one. Understand that a lawyer is there to help you and guide you, but you are always the one in control of the decision to fight or settle some or all of the issues at any time.
5. Finally, if nothing works and you end up fighting it out in divorce court, try to make assessments as often as you can to see what can be settled, and what must be decided by a judge.
6. If things become too much for you and your children, consider getting counseling for you and them. Divorce, even the friendliest one, is usually emotionally difficult.
These tips are not a guarantee that everything will be smooth sailing in your divorce. But staying aware and involved in the process will lessen the frustration and hurt that could cloud your judgment to help you resolve the situation, not to mention that it can also save you money.
For information on what to expect in divorce court, visit http://www.divorcecourtreport.com.
(c) Vivian Rodriguez
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Vivian Rodriguez - About the Author:
For more information on divorce court visit, http://www.divorcecourtreport.com
Vivian C. Rodriguez is a national consultant on case strategy on litigation and alternative dispute resolutions for parties headed for divorce court to avoid expensive and emotionally frustrating divorces. In Florida she is a family trial attorney and certified family mediator.
Uncontested Divorce- an Inexpensive Approach to Split Your Relation
Many times people get married for the wrong reasons, and forecasting the future many years down the road is quite unfeasible. Luckily, in the United States it is quite ease to get a quick divorce, that’s if it stays uncontested by the life partner. If both the spouses doesn't accept with all the terms and conditions of the uncontested divorce that’s when your going to require a lawyer.
While filling the form for an uncontested divorce it is not necessary that you have a lawyer. An uncontested divorce process is as ease as you fill a form. If both the partners accept the terms and condition that an uncontested divorce is the best way, then filing for divorce will be very cheap and simple. You can find many online paralegal firms who are providing uncontested divorce kits that help you prepare your own for a mere twenty bucks, or pay a paralegal or attorney to prepare the form for you for about two-hundred bucks. If both you and your spouse can not accept on how the assets you jointly own can be divided then you will require a lawyer to contest the divorce in court and allow the judge to decide how to divide those assets for you. However, If you and your spouse accept on how your combine owned assets can be spited then you qualify to file for an uncontested divorce, which doesn't requires a lawyer.
In a traditional contested divorce, which needs a lawyer, the judge will generally do what is called a "trial division method", where couples will split for awhile to see how life works without each other. But if you want to go the expensive route and If the judge put you two on trial division you could change your mind about divorce before the proceedings are settled; but this will cost you even more money, plus all the time you wasted just to get to this point.
Now, i think you got a good idea about the vast differences between contested divorces and uncontested divorces, let me be clear about uncontested divorces, which is clearly the best route to go. An uncontested divorce means that both the spouses comprehensively accept that quick divorce technique is in their best interest and there is nothing left to argue about, either in terms of the divorce itself or the separations of assets. Some life partners may have previously divide their assets and moved out, so filing for online divorce for them is almost just a formality.
Occasionally persons will bring one to the processing just in case their life partners begin to argue about the terms and conditions of the divorce. Lawyers may create argument and you may be in many future trials arguing about the conditions of the contested divorce for a long time to come with your expensive trial lawyer at your side. However, if your partner brought a lawyer to the proceeding and is arguing about the conditions of the divorce, then it's seemingly in your best interest to contact a divorce lawyer instantly.
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Frank Miller - About the Author:
Frank Miller is originator of www.legaldivide.com,Online Divorce Florida an Online Divorce company, any one who is looking Uncontested Divorce, wants quick divorce or wants to use our services like Online Divorce Florida, Florida Online Divorce,Quick Divorce, Uncontested Divorce,Divorce Online, Florida Divorce, Online Divorce contact also for SEO Services India
While filling the form for an uncontested divorce it is not necessary that you have a lawyer. An uncontested divorce process is as ease as you fill a form. If both the partners accept the terms and condition that an uncontested divorce is the best way, then filing for divorce will be very cheap and simple. You can find many online paralegal firms who are providing uncontested divorce kits that help you prepare your own for a mere twenty bucks, or pay a paralegal or attorney to prepare the form for you for about two-hundred bucks. If both you and your spouse can not accept on how the assets you jointly own can be divided then you will require a lawyer to contest the divorce in court and allow the judge to decide how to divide those assets for you. However, If you and your spouse accept on how your combine owned assets can be spited then you qualify to file for an uncontested divorce, which doesn't requires a lawyer.
In a traditional contested divorce, which needs a lawyer, the judge will generally do what is called a "trial division method", where couples will split for awhile to see how life works without each other. But if you want to go the expensive route and If the judge put you two on trial division you could change your mind about divorce before the proceedings are settled; but this will cost you even more money, plus all the time you wasted just to get to this point.
Now, i think you got a good idea about the vast differences between contested divorces and uncontested divorces, let me be clear about uncontested divorces, which is clearly the best route to go. An uncontested divorce means that both the spouses comprehensively accept that quick divorce technique is in their best interest and there is nothing left to argue about, either in terms of the divorce itself or the separations of assets. Some life partners may have previously divide their assets and moved out, so filing for online divorce for them is almost just a formality.
Occasionally persons will bring one to the processing just in case their life partners begin to argue about the terms and conditions of the divorce. Lawyers may create argument and you may be in many future trials arguing about the conditions of the contested divorce for a long time to come with your expensive trial lawyer at your side. However, if your partner brought a lawyer to the proceeding and is arguing about the conditions of the divorce, then it's seemingly in your best interest to contact a divorce lawyer instantly.
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Frank Miller - About the Author:
Frank Miller is originator of www.legaldivide.com,Online Divorce Florida an Online Divorce company, any one who is looking Uncontested Divorce, wants quick divorce or wants to use our services like Online Divorce Florida, Florida Online Divorce,Quick Divorce, Uncontested Divorce,Divorce Online, Florida Divorce, Online Divorce contact also for SEO Services India
FAILED MARRIAGES, ONE DIVORCE TOO MANY: By Chris Okafor
Marriage is an act of joining a man and a woman together in a holy matrimony as husband and a wife. It often calls for fun fares, weddings, celebrations and conviviality.
People spend a lot of money in planning for these big occasions and sometimes end it up cruising around the world on honeymoon. The couples had, without doubt, in church and in present of a Reverend Father, vowed to be faithful and to love one another until death do them apart. To most people who had partaken in this vow, it must be upheld with respect and dignity at all times. They sees marriage as a sacrament while to many, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying "I do" today and within the next 4 months, it is all over.
This school of thoughts viewed the entire institution of marriage as "free-entry-free exit" kind of a contact. It doesn’t matter if their well publicised and celebrated marriage would come to a halt within months of its inception.
On the other hand, divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of marriage or marital vow before the death of either spouse. It can be contrasted with annulment, which is a declaration that marriage is void, though the effect maybe recognised in such unions such as spousal supports, child custody and distribution of property.
The problem of failed marriages and divorce around the world particularly Europe and America is so enormous and inexplicable especially when there is no basis to determine necessary or sufficient causation. It is, indeed, a social problem with a hereditary attachment of which many are completely ignorant of and never believe in existence of the following concept which I am going to outline here. When one decides to put an end to his/her marriage on a mere provocation and on issues that ought to be resolved amicably, you have no moral justification to tell your children in future that there is anything wrong with divorce or having children with different parents.
In Nigeria, for instance, there are some ethnic groups that advise their male children never to marry from a single parent or a broken home. The ironic reasons are palpable. They believed that marriage is all about tolerance and the woman being submissive to their chosen husband at all time and therefore no amount of disagreement between couples that would warrant a woman to abscond from home. In most cases, men reserve the exclusive right to send their wives out of their matrimonial home on the ground of infidelity and promiscuity.
Women are normally the victim and in contrast, because of male dominance, cultural and religious affiliations, it is customary for people in most African countries to come back home from their respective daily activities and announce to their wives that they are marrying the second or the third wife as the case may be without questioning. They have the sole right as well to have as many girlfriend(s) as it pleases them or go out and come back at will.
In fact, it is not only a taboo but it is also an abomination for average African woman to go out like their European or American counterparts, get drunk and have a one night stand that often lead to pregnancies. Such women would possibly be disgraced before their children and sent packing from home without compassion of any kind.
This is liken to " if you cannot stand the heat get out of the kitchen" kind of marriage which have been viewed in some quarters as some kind of slavery. The truth of the matter is that some of these women knew what it meant to them for their children to be jointly raised and as such, they choose to stand the heat rather than getting out of the kitchen. The respect to their chosen husbands, no matter what he does or did is total and it is fundamentally important that they do not bring shame to their respective family no matter how wretched, poor or rich that family may be.
Recent research has shown that the evolution of marriage has taken place despite an increased life expectancy that has theoretically made a longer and healthier life together as a couple possible. Although in the past, the death of one of the two spouses was the typical end of marriage, divorce is now the most frequently observed cause.
In Switzerland, for example, the number of newly divorced residents actually exceeded the number of newly widowed residents in 1988 (OFS, 1990).
This is a relatively recent phenomenon, having existing for less than half a century and even less in some countries where it was forbidden or severely restricted until very recently (The mid 1970s in Portugal and Italy, 1981 in Spain, and not until 1997 in Ireland). Divorce is not only a legal instrument freeing a couple from wedlock, but an act that is at the heart of familial and social processes.
To understand the rise in the number of divorces in various countries, one must first understand the reasons causing couples to marry. France, Italy, Sweden, and Switzerland are representative of the diversity of marital and familial situations existing in Europe.
What we see sometimes in American reality television is an eye saw. An unacceptable situation where one is married and within 3 months, the man is sleeping with his wife mother. There is no basis of comparison between African marriages and other people around the world because what they see as a way of life is completely forbidden in Africa. Again, most people see this as being totally primitive.
It is difficult for average women in Europe generally to stick to their marriage when they eventually realized that their husbands are cheating on them. That would invariably be the last straw and would be used as an affront to divorce in which they would be beneficiary to their husband’s stupendous wealth and without recourse to how such separation would affect their children.
The ratio is 1 out of every hundred and we have seen this ratio at work sometime ago when a footballer wife defiantly resisted their former assistant shameless confession in order to thwart her marriage. She chooses to stand firmly by her husband throughout the trying period. In United States, during Bill Clinton era, a similar newspaper unconfirmed report between Bill and a Monica Lewinski almost ruin the marriage between the then president and his wife. Again, the latter choose to remain with the husband rather than divorce.
This is just one in a million and like a reoccurring decimal, one hardly turns the pages of newspapers these days without reading about ones divorce or the other. There are countless number of lawyers placing adverts on newspapers and magazines for cheap divorce rates.
Today, one of the primary reasons why most celebrities cannot marry is that they are not ready to let what they have laboured all their entire life to be given to a nitwit in the name of divorce settlement .It is quite obvious that people go into marriage for number of reasons while some people, most especially women, go into marriage for the financial gains not really because they needed a family.
According to Jenny Burley and Francis Regan, the Irish story of family law reform in the post-second world war era is quite different from the experience of other countries. One of the main reasons why the story is different is that from 1937 divorce was banned under the Irish constitution. Divorce law reform therefore required a referendum to change the constitution. Even though there were thousand of separated people in Ireland in early 1980s, the proposal to introduce divorce was vociferously opposed in referenda in 1986 and 1995.
The opposition to constitutional change was fuelled by anti-divorce campaigns which used fear tactics, related to money, children, property and inheritance to argue that divorce would tear apart the very fabric of Irish society. The campaign also claimed that divorce would open floodgates to marriage breakdown. The availability of this divorce in Ireland since 1997 has not, however, borne out of dire predictions of the anti-divorce campaigners.
Successful and failed marriages have its origin and background from family circles and some people has argued that it would take a divine intervention for the products of broken homes to triumph where their parents have failed. This is simple. Children learn a great deal from the good and the bad we do at home.
What are responsible for most ignominious exit in most marriages particularly from most women are sheer greed, drink and drugs, insatiable lust and lack of tolerance, which unavoidably, is contributing immensely to the drastic decadence in family and societal values.
The devastating effects of divorce on children and families are enormous. Research made by Dr.Todd.E Linaman on families noted the following:
Future effects of divorce
• Children deal with the effects of divorce not only as children, but into adulthood. The effects of divorce will impact the next generation of children as well.
• The child's suffering from the effects of divorce does not reach its peak at the time of the divorce and then level off. Rather, the emotional effects of divorce can be played and replayed throughout a child's life.
Academic effects of divorce
• Children from divorced families drop out of school at twice the rate of children from intact families, and they have lower rates of graduation from high school and college.
• Children from divorced homes performed more poorly in reading, spelling, and math and repeated a grade more frequently than did children not facing the effects of divorce.
Social effects of divorce
• Children of divorced parents are significantly more likely to become delinquent by age 15, regardless of when the divorce took place, than are children not dealing with the effects of divorce.
• The single best predictor of teen suicide is parental divorce and living in a single-parent household.
• Comparing all family structures, drug use in children is lowest among children not facing the effects of divorce.
Emotional effects of divorce
• Divorce has been found to be associated with a higher incidence of depression; withdrawal from friends and family; aggressive, impulsive, or hyperactive behavior; and either withdrawing from participation in the classroom or becoming disruptive.
• Adult children of divorced parents experience mental health problems significantly more often than do the adult children who didn't witness the effects of divorce as children.
Relational effects of divorce
• After divorce, children tend to become more emotionally distant from both parents.
• As adults, children of divorced parents are half as likely to be close to their parents as are children not dealing with the effects of divorce.
• In their own marriages, children of divorced parents are more likely to be unhappy, to escalate conflicts, and to reduce communication with their spouses.
• Some studies concerning the probability of divorce for children of divorced parents have found the risk to be more than twice the risk for children who haven't personally experienced the effects of divorce.
This is just one of the numerous factors affecting divorce on families and the list is endless. One thing about people that I have met in my life is that they do not realize the impact of the mistake they must have made in terms of making a decision that would ultimately shape their life until such mistake begin to hit them. It is, however important amidst these factors that we should think very carefully before considering divorce.
Chris Okafor
Galway Ireland: chrisokafor@myself.com
Retrieved from "http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/failed-marriages-one-divorce-too-many-by-chris-okafor-823944.html"
(ArticlesBase SC #823944)
Chris Okafor - About the Author:
Chris Obiajulu Okafor was born in Ogwashi-Uku in Delta state of Nigeria few months before the outbreak of the protracted Nigeria civil war. He had both his primary and post primary education in Ogwashi- Uku and later studied Mass Communication in the University Of Lagos.He came to Ireland in 2002 where he is presently living with his wife and 3 children. Chris is a journalist and a creative writer that has participated in many comtemporary issues both here and in Nigeria.
People spend a lot of money in planning for these big occasions and sometimes end it up cruising around the world on honeymoon. The couples had, without doubt, in church and in present of a Reverend Father, vowed to be faithful and to love one another until death do them apart. To most people who had partaken in this vow, it must be upheld with respect and dignity at all times. They sees marriage as a sacrament while to many, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying "I do" today and within the next 4 months, it is all over.
This school of thoughts viewed the entire institution of marriage as "free-entry-free exit" kind of a contact. It doesn’t matter if their well publicised and celebrated marriage would come to a halt within months of its inception.
On the other hand, divorce or dissolution of marriage is the ending of marriage or marital vow before the death of either spouse. It can be contrasted with annulment, which is a declaration that marriage is void, though the effect maybe recognised in such unions such as spousal supports, child custody and distribution of property.
The problem of failed marriages and divorce around the world particularly Europe and America is so enormous and inexplicable especially when there is no basis to determine necessary or sufficient causation. It is, indeed, a social problem with a hereditary attachment of which many are completely ignorant of and never believe in existence of the following concept which I am going to outline here. When one decides to put an end to his/her marriage on a mere provocation and on issues that ought to be resolved amicably, you have no moral justification to tell your children in future that there is anything wrong with divorce or having children with different parents.
In Nigeria, for instance, there are some ethnic groups that advise their male children never to marry from a single parent or a broken home. The ironic reasons are palpable. They believed that marriage is all about tolerance and the woman being submissive to their chosen husband at all time and therefore no amount of disagreement between couples that would warrant a woman to abscond from home. In most cases, men reserve the exclusive right to send their wives out of their matrimonial home on the ground of infidelity and promiscuity.
Women are normally the victim and in contrast, because of male dominance, cultural and religious affiliations, it is customary for people in most African countries to come back home from their respective daily activities and announce to their wives that they are marrying the second or the third wife as the case may be without questioning. They have the sole right as well to have as many girlfriend(s) as it pleases them or go out and come back at will.
In fact, it is not only a taboo but it is also an abomination for average African woman to go out like their European or American counterparts, get drunk and have a one night stand that often lead to pregnancies. Such women would possibly be disgraced before their children and sent packing from home without compassion of any kind.
This is liken to " if you cannot stand the heat get out of the kitchen" kind of marriage which have been viewed in some quarters as some kind of slavery. The truth of the matter is that some of these women knew what it meant to them for their children to be jointly raised and as such, they choose to stand the heat rather than getting out of the kitchen. The respect to their chosen husbands, no matter what he does or did is total and it is fundamentally important that they do not bring shame to their respective family no matter how wretched, poor or rich that family may be.
Recent research has shown that the evolution of marriage has taken place despite an increased life expectancy that has theoretically made a longer and healthier life together as a couple possible. Although in the past, the death of one of the two spouses was the typical end of marriage, divorce is now the most frequently observed cause.
In Switzerland, for example, the number of newly divorced residents actually exceeded the number of newly widowed residents in 1988 (OFS, 1990).
This is a relatively recent phenomenon, having existing for less than half a century and even less in some countries where it was forbidden or severely restricted until very recently (The mid 1970s in Portugal and Italy, 1981 in Spain, and not until 1997 in Ireland). Divorce is not only a legal instrument freeing a couple from wedlock, but an act that is at the heart of familial and social processes.
To understand the rise in the number of divorces in various countries, one must first understand the reasons causing couples to marry. France, Italy, Sweden, and Switzerland are representative of the diversity of marital and familial situations existing in Europe.
What we see sometimes in American reality television is an eye saw. An unacceptable situation where one is married and within 3 months, the man is sleeping with his wife mother. There is no basis of comparison between African marriages and other people around the world because what they see as a way of life is completely forbidden in Africa. Again, most people see this as being totally primitive.
It is difficult for average women in Europe generally to stick to their marriage when they eventually realized that their husbands are cheating on them. That would invariably be the last straw and would be used as an affront to divorce in which they would be beneficiary to their husband’s stupendous wealth and without recourse to how such separation would affect their children.
The ratio is 1 out of every hundred and we have seen this ratio at work sometime ago when a footballer wife defiantly resisted their former assistant shameless confession in order to thwart her marriage. She chooses to stand firmly by her husband throughout the trying period. In United States, during Bill Clinton era, a similar newspaper unconfirmed report between Bill and a Monica Lewinski almost ruin the marriage between the then president and his wife. Again, the latter choose to remain with the husband rather than divorce.
This is just one in a million and like a reoccurring decimal, one hardly turns the pages of newspapers these days without reading about ones divorce or the other. There are countless number of lawyers placing adverts on newspapers and magazines for cheap divorce rates.
Today, one of the primary reasons why most celebrities cannot marry is that they are not ready to let what they have laboured all their entire life to be given to a nitwit in the name of divorce settlement .It is quite obvious that people go into marriage for number of reasons while some people, most especially women, go into marriage for the financial gains not really because they needed a family.
According to Jenny Burley and Francis Regan, the Irish story of family law reform in the post-second world war era is quite different from the experience of other countries. One of the main reasons why the story is different is that from 1937 divorce was banned under the Irish constitution. Divorce law reform therefore required a referendum to change the constitution. Even though there were thousand of separated people in Ireland in early 1980s, the proposal to introduce divorce was vociferously opposed in referenda in 1986 and 1995.
The opposition to constitutional change was fuelled by anti-divorce campaigns which used fear tactics, related to money, children, property and inheritance to argue that divorce would tear apart the very fabric of Irish society. The campaign also claimed that divorce would open floodgates to marriage breakdown. The availability of this divorce in Ireland since 1997 has not, however, borne out of dire predictions of the anti-divorce campaigners.
Successful and failed marriages have its origin and background from family circles and some people has argued that it would take a divine intervention for the products of broken homes to triumph where their parents have failed. This is simple. Children learn a great deal from the good and the bad we do at home.
What are responsible for most ignominious exit in most marriages particularly from most women are sheer greed, drink and drugs, insatiable lust and lack of tolerance, which unavoidably, is contributing immensely to the drastic decadence in family and societal values.
The devastating effects of divorce on children and families are enormous. Research made by Dr.Todd.E Linaman on families noted the following:
Future effects of divorce
• Children deal with the effects of divorce not only as children, but into adulthood. The effects of divorce will impact the next generation of children as well.
• The child's suffering from the effects of divorce does not reach its peak at the time of the divorce and then level off. Rather, the emotional effects of divorce can be played and replayed throughout a child's life.
Academic effects of divorce
• Children from divorced families drop out of school at twice the rate of children from intact families, and they have lower rates of graduation from high school and college.
• Children from divorced homes performed more poorly in reading, spelling, and math and repeated a grade more frequently than did children not facing the effects of divorce.
Social effects of divorce
• Children of divorced parents are significantly more likely to become delinquent by age 15, regardless of when the divorce took place, than are children not dealing with the effects of divorce.
• The single best predictor of teen suicide is parental divorce and living in a single-parent household.
• Comparing all family structures, drug use in children is lowest among children not facing the effects of divorce.
Emotional effects of divorce
• Divorce has been found to be associated with a higher incidence of depression; withdrawal from friends and family; aggressive, impulsive, or hyperactive behavior; and either withdrawing from participation in the classroom or becoming disruptive.
• Adult children of divorced parents experience mental health problems significantly more often than do the adult children who didn't witness the effects of divorce as children.
Relational effects of divorce
• After divorce, children tend to become more emotionally distant from both parents.
• As adults, children of divorced parents are half as likely to be close to their parents as are children not dealing with the effects of divorce.
• In their own marriages, children of divorced parents are more likely to be unhappy, to escalate conflicts, and to reduce communication with their spouses.
• Some studies concerning the probability of divorce for children of divorced parents have found the risk to be more than twice the risk for children who haven't personally experienced the effects of divorce.
This is just one of the numerous factors affecting divorce on families and the list is endless. One thing about people that I have met in my life is that they do not realize the impact of the mistake they must have made in terms of making a decision that would ultimately shape their life until such mistake begin to hit them. It is, however important amidst these factors that we should think very carefully before considering divorce.
Chris Okafor
Galway Ireland: chrisokafor@myself.com
Retrieved from "http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/failed-marriages-one-divorce-too-many-by-chris-okafor-823944.html"
(ArticlesBase SC #823944)
Chris Okafor - About the Author:
Chris Obiajulu Okafor was born in Ogwashi-Uku in Delta state of Nigeria few months before the outbreak of the protracted Nigeria civil war. He had both his primary and post primary education in Ogwashi- Uku and later studied Mass Communication in the University Of Lagos.He came to Ireland in 2002 where he is presently living with his wife and 3 children. Chris is a journalist and a creative writer that has participated in many comtemporary issues both here and in Nigeria.
Dishonest Marriages vs "Good Divorces"
Elizabeth Marquardt presented her book, "Between Two Worlds" (Crown Publishers, 2005), as based on groundbreaking research that provides new insights to the true impact of divorce on children. Her key conclusions are that there is no such thing as a "good divorce", that 75% of all divorces are from "low-conflict" marriages where parents should choose to stay together, and that divorce creates enduring, harmful effects because it forces the children to navigate the separate worlds of their parents. This allegedly leaves children feeling alone, spiritually, morally, and religiously lost.
As a psychologist who has worked with children and families for forty years, my reading of this book led me to conclude that Ms. Marquardt's research was quite flawed and that she appeared to selectively choose results to support her hypotheses while ignoring data that challenged her main points. Despite being quickly ordained by the media as providing strong evidence that divorce really is harmful to children and that it creates a lasting anguish in their lives, I do not believe the book actually makes such a case. In fact, I believe the book shows there is such a thing as a better divorce and that staying together for the sake of the children does not result in better outcomes for the adult children of these families.
The author's view:
Ms. Marquardt is emphatic in her belief that the majority of divorces are unnecessary. She blames this partly on the myth of the "good divorce" ("good" in this case meaning having little negative impact on the children) as the basis for those 75% of divorced couples whose marriage is defined as having been "low conflict" (essentially any divorce not based on a substantially abusive situation). The author states that parents in unhappy, low conflict marriages should have the resolve to stick it out, work harder on solving their problems, or just delay divorce until the children leave home. The latter is the familiar plea to "stay-together-for-the-sake-of-the-children."
This is what I describe as the dishonest marriage vs. the good divorce debate. Ms. Marquardt claims the myth of the good divorce is dishonest to the children and that it fails to appreciate their pain. But I think that making believe a marriage is okay until the children leave is a least equally dishonest.
Unless someone can prove that divorce is inevitably seriously harmful to most children, who has the right to tell married adults that they don't have a choice but to stay in an unhappy marriage? Ms. Marquardt appears to feel she has the right to do that. So her data must be compelling. Let us take a close look.
Examination of the data:
Ms. Marquardt contends that "We [children of divorce] might look fine to everyone else, but talk to us about our inner lives and you will find, just beneath the surface, a potent mixture of loss and confusion that haunts [emphasis mine] us to this day." (p.39)This very powerful statement of the destructive impact of divorce, in my opinion, is not based on the data but on the author's personal experience and the stories from the college students she interviewed in the first phase of the research (to create the questions for the survey). She refers to the latter as "profound and moving stories of confusion, isolation, and suffering."(p.32)
Such a negative view is especially striking given that the author describes her current life in rather glowing terms: a wonderful marriage and family and a very rewarding career. She indicated this is also true for many of the people she interviewed. But, in response to the question, "How satisfied are you with your life as a whole?" 94.9% of the adults from divorced families gave a positive response compared to 97.6% of the adults from intact families. Not only does this fail to make the case for a significant difference, it appears to indicate that most of the adults from divorced families in this study are not suffering to the significant degree that the author claims.
The book is entitled "Between Two Worlds" because Ms. Marquardt contends that there is a harmful impact, emotionally, morally, and spiritually, from having to move back and forth between the homes of their parents. It is this issue of living in two different worlds, with different rules and complex boundaries, which the author stresses as the cause of most of divorce's destructive impact on children. I am not minimizing the traumatic impact that divorce has on everyone involved but I am going to select results from the vast array of Marquardt's data that does not appear to support a number of the author's contentions about this issue.
Ms. Marquardt concludes that divorce generates a sense of moral confusion in the children due to the lack of a unified parental guidance (the result of living in two homes) as well as the negative impact divorce has on children's spiritual development and religious involvement. Yet, in response to the survey item, "I think my understanding of right and wrong is cloudy.", there was virtually no difference in the responses by adults from divorced families and those from intact families. In fact, more than 95% of both groups indicated no moral "cloudiness" at all! Thus, one central hypothesis, that being from a divorced family undermines moral clarity, does not appear to be supported by the data.
Another aspect of the sense of being lost and confused that Ms. Marquardt contends to be the outcome of growing up in a divorced family is that it results in a sense of no home rather than a sense of two homes. Yet in response to the question, "After the divorce, which place felt like home to you?", 93% responded that they either felt like one parent's house, or both, felt like home. So this hypothesis of "no home" is also not supported by the data.
Nearly half the questions on the survey relate to religion and spirituality, which makes sense since this was a research project on the "Moral and Spiritual Lives of Children of Divorce." But the data doesn't Ms. Marquardt's contention that divorce has a negative impact on the religious aspects of the lives of children from divorced families. A significant percentage of the adults from divorced families rated themselves as more religious than their fathers (47%) and mothers (31.4%). Perhaps even more striking is that 79.1% of those adults describe God as caring (versus 82.3% from intact family group) and 78.8% describe God as loving them unconditionally (versus 79.7% from the intact group). Thus the data does not support the idea that divorce results in the children becoming less religious adults.
Now comes the real stunner. In response to the statement, "My spirituality has been strengthened by adversity in my life." 43.7% of the adults from divorced families strongly agree! If you add in" Somewhat Agree" (30.5%), the message is that nearly three-fourths of adults whose parents divorced describe their spirituality as having been strengthened! This data is so powerful that the author does report it in the text (p.153) in a one sentence comment yet says nothing about the incredible implications of this exceptional statement of spiritual resilience. Why? Where does it come from? Perhaps this is a critical factor in understanding why most of the children from divorced families turn out okay. It deserves discussion and a recommendation for further research, but the author virtually ignores it. I see this as a particularly strong example of the author's anti-divorce bias.
Thus the author's own data does not appear to support her conclusions that adults from divorced families are emotionally distraught, morally lost, less spiritual and less religious than adults from intact families.
These more positive results around spirituality, religion, feeling understood and having a home are very consistent with the research by Dr. Mavis Hetherington. Her research is longitudinal, not retrospective. She has followed hundreds of families of divorce, many for as long as three decades, periodically re-evaluating the impact of divorce on children and their parents. Data obtained at each stage of life is much more compelling than data obtained in a retrospective survey. Also, the research was extensively published in peer-reviewed professional journals over a period of years before the author summarized her findings in a book. Dr. Heatherington concludes that 75% of the children from divorce do not develop any serious psychological problems (compared to about 90% of the non-divorced groups). In addition, she reports that six years post-divorce most children have adjusted to the changes in their lives imposed by their parents' divorce and are more concerned with typical developmental issues in their daily lives. This is in stark contrast to Ms. Marquardt's much more negative conclusions but is consistent with the positive results of her own data that she chooses to ignore.
Finally, I want to address what in many ways is the true core issue of this book, that there is no such thing as a "good" divorce and that it is better for parents to stay married even if there is conflict (low as opposed to high).
Appendix A presents the results of 33 questions for the five subject groups (the identifiers refer to the parents of the adults interviewed). Three subgroups are from Intact Marriages: Very Happy/Low Conflict; Not Happy/Low Conflict; Not Happy/High Conflict. The final two groups are from Divorced Marriages: "Good Divorce" and "Bad" Divorce. The data clearly shows that children/adults are very negatively impacted by high conflict divorces (scores are nearly all far worse than any other category) and that children/adults from happy, intact marriages have the best lives. I'm sure most everyone knew this without reading the book.
But it is critical to emphasize that on 29 of the 33 statements summarized in Appendix A, the "Good Divorce" group has more positive results than the "Bad Divorce" group and the majority of those differences are quite substantial. What this implies very clearly is that what is being done to teach parents how to divorce in a more child-sensitive way is actually helpful. Children of these "Good Divorces" end up in a much more positive place, suggesting all those books, workshops, and therapies which the author belittles as creating a false myth that the "good divorce" may have real value.
What does the data say about the author's primary thesis that it is better for parents who are in unhappy, low-conflict marriages to stay married rather than try to have a "Good Divorce"? Most dramatically, on what I consider the two most critical statements, the results strongly suggest a more positive outcome for the "Good Divorce" group! 57.1% of the adults from that group describe themselves as "very happy" compared to 47.8% from the unhappy marriage, low conflict group. Similarly, 62.3% of the adults from the "Good Divorce" group describe themselves as "very satisfied with life as whole." compared to 56.2% from the unhappy marriage, low conflict group. In the face of just these two items, how can the author conclude that it is better for unhappy, low conflict couples, after having tried their best to resolve their differences, to stay together instead of working out a healthier divorce?
I am not trying to deny that there is nothing to be gained from low conflict couples trying to work out their problems and stay together. The main point here is that I do not believe the author has the data to make her case that when these unhappy, low conflict couples decide to divorce they are being selfish, putting their own needs ahead of their children's needs, and condemning their children to a life of profound confusion, isolation, and suffering. Such a contemptuous attitude toward couples who choose to divorce is not disserved.
Retrieved from "http://www.articlesbase.com/automotive-articles/dishonest-marriages-vs-good-divorces-59616.html"
(ArticlesBase SC #59616)
Kalman Heller - About the Author:
Dr. Heller is a clinical psychologist, now retired, who specialized in providing services to children, families, and couples since 1968. He has written over 150 columns about parenting and marriage which are available on his website, http://www.drheller.com. He is a frequent media resoure.
As a psychologist who has worked with children and families for forty years, my reading of this book led me to conclude that Ms. Marquardt's research was quite flawed and that she appeared to selectively choose results to support her hypotheses while ignoring data that challenged her main points. Despite being quickly ordained by the media as providing strong evidence that divorce really is harmful to children and that it creates a lasting anguish in their lives, I do not believe the book actually makes such a case. In fact, I believe the book shows there is such a thing as a better divorce and that staying together for the sake of the children does not result in better outcomes for the adult children of these families.
The author's view:
Ms. Marquardt is emphatic in her belief that the majority of divorces are unnecessary. She blames this partly on the myth of the "good divorce" ("good" in this case meaning having little negative impact on the children) as the basis for those 75% of divorced couples whose marriage is defined as having been "low conflict" (essentially any divorce not based on a substantially abusive situation). The author states that parents in unhappy, low conflict marriages should have the resolve to stick it out, work harder on solving their problems, or just delay divorce until the children leave home. The latter is the familiar plea to "stay-together-for-the-sake-of-the-children."
This is what I describe as the dishonest marriage vs. the good divorce debate. Ms. Marquardt claims the myth of the good divorce is dishonest to the children and that it fails to appreciate their pain. But I think that making believe a marriage is okay until the children leave is a least equally dishonest.
Unless someone can prove that divorce is inevitably seriously harmful to most children, who has the right to tell married adults that they don't have a choice but to stay in an unhappy marriage? Ms. Marquardt appears to feel she has the right to do that. So her data must be compelling. Let us take a close look.
Examination of the data:
Ms. Marquardt contends that "We [children of divorce] might look fine to everyone else, but talk to us about our inner lives and you will find, just beneath the surface, a potent mixture of loss and confusion that haunts [emphasis mine] us to this day." (p.39)This very powerful statement of the destructive impact of divorce, in my opinion, is not based on the data but on the author's personal experience and the stories from the college students she interviewed in the first phase of the research (to create the questions for the survey). She refers to the latter as "profound and moving stories of confusion, isolation, and suffering."(p.32)
Such a negative view is especially striking given that the author describes her current life in rather glowing terms: a wonderful marriage and family and a very rewarding career. She indicated this is also true for many of the people she interviewed. But, in response to the question, "How satisfied are you with your life as a whole?" 94.9% of the adults from divorced families gave a positive response compared to 97.6% of the adults from intact families. Not only does this fail to make the case for a significant difference, it appears to indicate that most of the adults from divorced families in this study are not suffering to the significant degree that the author claims.
The book is entitled "Between Two Worlds" because Ms. Marquardt contends that there is a harmful impact, emotionally, morally, and spiritually, from having to move back and forth between the homes of their parents. It is this issue of living in two different worlds, with different rules and complex boundaries, which the author stresses as the cause of most of divorce's destructive impact on children. I am not minimizing the traumatic impact that divorce has on everyone involved but I am going to select results from the vast array of Marquardt's data that does not appear to support a number of the author's contentions about this issue.
Ms. Marquardt concludes that divorce generates a sense of moral confusion in the children due to the lack of a unified parental guidance (the result of living in two homes) as well as the negative impact divorce has on children's spiritual development and religious involvement. Yet, in response to the survey item, "I think my understanding of right and wrong is cloudy.", there was virtually no difference in the responses by adults from divorced families and those from intact families. In fact, more than 95% of both groups indicated no moral "cloudiness" at all! Thus, one central hypothesis, that being from a divorced family undermines moral clarity, does not appear to be supported by the data.
Another aspect of the sense of being lost and confused that Ms. Marquardt contends to be the outcome of growing up in a divorced family is that it results in a sense of no home rather than a sense of two homes. Yet in response to the question, "After the divorce, which place felt like home to you?", 93% responded that they either felt like one parent's house, or both, felt like home. So this hypothesis of "no home" is also not supported by the data.
Nearly half the questions on the survey relate to religion and spirituality, which makes sense since this was a research project on the "Moral and Spiritual Lives of Children of Divorce." But the data doesn't Ms. Marquardt's contention that divorce has a negative impact on the religious aspects of the lives of children from divorced families. A significant percentage of the adults from divorced families rated themselves as more religious than their fathers (47%) and mothers (31.4%). Perhaps even more striking is that 79.1% of those adults describe God as caring (versus 82.3% from intact family group) and 78.8% describe God as loving them unconditionally (versus 79.7% from the intact group). Thus the data does not support the idea that divorce results in the children becoming less religious adults.
Now comes the real stunner. In response to the statement, "My spirituality has been strengthened by adversity in my life." 43.7% of the adults from divorced families strongly agree! If you add in" Somewhat Agree" (30.5%), the message is that nearly three-fourths of adults whose parents divorced describe their spirituality as having been strengthened! This data is so powerful that the author does report it in the text (p.153) in a one sentence comment yet says nothing about the incredible implications of this exceptional statement of spiritual resilience. Why? Where does it come from? Perhaps this is a critical factor in understanding why most of the children from divorced families turn out okay. It deserves discussion and a recommendation for further research, but the author virtually ignores it. I see this as a particularly strong example of the author's anti-divorce bias.
Thus the author's own data does not appear to support her conclusions that adults from divorced families are emotionally distraught, morally lost, less spiritual and less religious than adults from intact families.
These more positive results around spirituality, religion, feeling understood and having a home are very consistent with the research by Dr. Mavis Hetherington. Her research is longitudinal, not retrospective. She has followed hundreds of families of divorce, many for as long as three decades, periodically re-evaluating the impact of divorce on children and their parents. Data obtained at each stage of life is much more compelling than data obtained in a retrospective survey. Also, the research was extensively published in peer-reviewed professional journals over a period of years before the author summarized her findings in a book. Dr. Heatherington concludes that 75% of the children from divorce do not develop any serious psychological problems (compared to about 90% of the non-divorced groups). In addition, she reports that six years post-divorce most children have adjusted to the changes in their lives imposed by their parents' divorce and are more concerned with typical developmental issues in their daily lives. This is in stark contrast to Ms. Marquardt's much more negative conclusions but is consistent with the positive results of her own data that she chooses to ignore.
Finally, I want to address what in many ways is the true core issue of this book, that there is no such thing as a "good" divorce and that it is better for parents to stay married even if there is conflict (low as opposed to high).
Appendix A presents the results of 33 questions for the five subject groups (the identifiers refer to the parents of the adults interviewed). Three subgroups are from Intact Marriages: Very Happy/Low Conflict; Not Happy/Low Conflict; Not Happy/High Conflict. The final two groups are from Divorced Marriages: "Good Divorce" and "Bad" Divorce. The data clearly shows that children/adults are very negatively impacted by high conflict divorces (scores are nearly all far worse than any other category) and that children/adults from happy, intact marriages have the best lives. I'm sure most everyone knew this without reading the book.
But it is critical to emphasize that on 29 of the 33 statements summarized in Appendix A, the "Good Divorce" group has more positive results than the "Bad Divorce" group and the majority of those differences are quite substantial. What this implies very clearly is that what is being done to teach parents how to divorce in a more child-sensitive way is actually helpful. Children of these "Good Divorces" end up in a much more positive place, suggesting all those books, workshops, and therapies which the author belittles as creating a false myth that the "good divorce" may have real value.
What does the data say about the author's primary thesis that it is better for parents who are in unhappy, low-conflict marriages to stay married rather than try to have a "Good Divorce"? Most dramatically, on what I consider the two most critical statements, the results strongly suggest a more positive outcome for the "Good Divorce" group! 57.1% of the adults from that group describe themselves as "very happy" compared to 47.8% from the unhappy marriage, low conflict group. Similarly, 62.3% of the adults from the "Good Divorce" group describe themselves as "very satisfied with life as whole." compared to 56.2% from the unhappy marriage, low conflict group. In the face of just these two items, how can the author conclude that it is better for unhappy, low conflict couples, after having tried their best to resolve their differences, to stay together instead of working out a healthier divorce?
I am not trying to deny that there is nothing to be gained from low conflict couples trying to work out their problems and stay together. The main point here is that I do not believe the author has the data to make her case that when these unhappy, low conflict couples decide to divorce they are being selfish, putting their own needs ahead of their children's needs, and condemning their children to a life of profound confusion, isolation, and suffering. Such a contemptuous attitude toward couples who choose to divorce is not disserved.
Retrieved from "http://www.articlesbase.com/automotive-articles/dishonest-marriages-vs-good-divorces-59616.html"
(ArticlesBase SC #59616)
Kalman Heller - About the Author:
Dr. Heller is a clinical psychologist, now retired, who specialized in providing services to children, families, and couples since 1968. He has written over 150 columns about parenting and marriage which are available on his website, http://www.drheller.com. He is a frequent media resoure.
Minnesota Divorce, Child Custody, and Family Law Attorneys and Lawyers Discuss Child Custody in Minnesota
Minnesota Divorce, Child Custody, and Family Law Attorneys and Lawyers Discuss Child Custody in Minnesota
Cundy and Martin is a family law and immigration firm located in Bloomington, MN. 952-746-4111.
When filing for divorce in Minnesota, there are two types of custody determinations that must be made in all divorce and paternity proceedings. Child custody in Minnesota also involves issues of child support. This area of law generally falls under the heading of Family law and is handled through the Family Court.
The first type is legal custody, which consists of decision making with respect to extraordinary health, education, and religious issues involving the children. Therefore, if the parents are granted joint legal custody, they generally share the decision making responsibilities with respect to these issues.
The second type of custody is physical custody, which refers to the location where the children will reside. The parent with primary physical custody will have the children primarily residing with him or her and will make the daily parenting decisions as to when the children eat, do their homework, take a bath, and go to bed.
In making decisions regarding legal and physical custody, the Courts in Minnesota will consider the best interests of the children. It is presumed that joint legal custody is in the best interests of the children. However, judges are more reluctant to award joint physical custody absent an agreement between the parents that such an arrangement is in the best interest of their children.
Once custody is decided by agreement of the parties or Order of the Court, it is difficult to change. To modify an existing custody order, the parent requesting the modification must identify and prove a change in circumstances that endangers the child's physical or emotional health. Alternatively, the person requesting a modification must prove that the custody schedule has been modified by agreement of the parties and that the children are now living with the noncustodial parent and have been integrated into the home of that parent. In that instance, the noncustodial parent may apply for a formal change in the previously ordered custodial arrangement.
Custody disputes and change of custody requests are very emotional and can become very costly for both parents. The possible ill effects on the children must always be considered any time custody becomes an issue. It is therefore very important to consult with an experienced family law attorney who can protect your interests and represent you zealously during this very trying time in your life and the lives of your children.
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Minnesota Divorce Lawyer - About the Author:
www.cundyandmartin.com 952-746-4111 Ms. Cundy has twenty-four years of legal experience. After graduating from law school in 1982, Ms. Cundy served as a judicial law clerk various judges. She then worked for the Minnesota Departments of Health and Human Services before entering the private practice of law in 1990.
Cundy and Martin is a family law and immigration firm located in Bloomington, MN. 952-746-4111.
When filing for divorce in Minnesota, there are two types of custody determinations that must be made in all divorce and paternity proceedings. Child custody in Minnesota also involves issues of child support. This area of law generally falls under the heading of Family law and is handled through the Family Court.
The first type is legal custody, which consists of decision making with respect to extraordinary health, education, and religious issues involving the children. Therefore, if the parents are granted joint legal custody, they generally share the decision making responsibilities with respect to these issues.
The second type of custody is physical custody, which refers to the location where the children will reside. The parent with primary physical custody will have the children primarily residing with him or her and will make the daily parenting decisions as to when the children eat, do their homework, take a bath, and go to bed.
In making decisions regarding legal and physical custody, the Courts in Minnesota will consider the best interests of the children. It is presumed that joint legal custody is in the best interests of the children. However, judges are more reluctant to award joint physical custody absent an agreement between the parents that such an arrangement is in the best interest of their children.
Once custody is decided by agreement of the parties or Order of the Court, it is difficult to change. To modify an existing custody order, the parent requesting the modification must identify and prove a change in circumstances that endangers the child's physical or emotional health. Alternatively, the person requesting a modification must prove that the custody schedule has been modified by agreement of the parties and that the children are now living with the noncustodial parent and have been integrated into the home of that parent. In that instance, the noncustodial parent may apply for a formal change in the previously ordered custodial arrangement.
Custody disputes and change of custody requests are very emotional and can become very costly for both parents. The possible ill effects on the children must always be considered any time custody becomes an issue. It is therefore very important to consult with an experienced family law attorney who can protect your interests and represent you zealously during this very trying time in your life and the lives of your children.
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Minnesota Divorce Lawyer - About the Author:
www.cundyandmartin.com 952-746-4111 Ms. Cundy has twenty-four years of legal experience. After graduating from law school in 1982, Ms. Cundy served as a judicial law clerk various judges. She then worked for the Minnesota Departments of Health and Human Services before entering the private practice of law in 1990.
Forensic Accounting and Divorce
Sometimes during the divorce process a spouse can take on immoral practices (e.g., hiding money from their partner). This can be done for a number of reasons, whether the spouse is trying to guard his own money, or simply trying to make sure his partner suffers financial loss as some form or humiliation. Whatever the reason, sometimes a spouse has to take it into their own hands to ensure they are getting everything they are entitled to.
This is where forensic accounting comes in. A forensic accountant can look into financial practices of your soon to be ex-spouse and see how much money he makes and how much money he spends (or at least claims to spend) and sees if it all adds up with the share you are being given. Essentially, a forensic accountant can work together with your attorney to make sure you are not being cheated out of your fair share of money.
Should I Consult an Attorney before Hiring a Forensic Accountant?
It would definitely be a good idea to consult a divorce attorney before hiring a forensic accountant. The accountant normally does not work by himself, but usually works with your attorney as a team, so that they can coordinate what they are looking for and interpret what they have found. Remember, your attorney will make sure that your interests are always represented during the divorce process, especially if the matter goes to court.
A survey by British online bank Cahoot.com found that about 75% of women admitted to hiding money, compared with 53% of men. It's about the fact that both genders hide money from their mates, and how you can tell, and when you should care, if it happens to be your partner.
You may have difficulty finding items or getting the proof you need to show your spouse is hiding assets. A Forensic Accountant can help. For more information and to recieve a free report, visit Divorce Ammo.
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This is where forensic accounting comes in. A forensic accountant can look into financial practices of your soon to be ex-spouse and see how much money he makes and how much money he spends (or at least claims to spend) and sees if it all adds up with the share you are being given. Essentially, a forensic accountant can work together with your attorney to make sure you are not being cheated out of your fair share of money.
Should I Consult an Attorney before Hiring a Forensic Accountant?
It would definitely be a good idea to consult a divorce attorney before hiring a forensic accountant. The accountant normally does not work by himself, but usually works with your attorney as a team, so that they can coordinate what they are looking for and interpret what they have found. Remember, your attorney will make sure that your interests are always represented during the divorce process, especially if the matter goes to court.
A survey by British online bank Cahoot.com found that about 75% of women admitted to hiding money, compared with 53% of men. It's about the fact that both genders hide money from their mates, and how you can tell, and when you should care, if it happens to be your partner.
You may have difficulty finding items or getting the proof you need to show your spouse is hiding assets. A Forensic Accountant can help. For more information and to recieve a free report, visit Divorce Ammo.
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Find Hidden Divorce Money From Your Tax Return
It's almost mind boggling how many spouses rely on their significant other to do the taxes. Most of them don't even look at them. They just want to know the bottom line and where to sign. Check your tax return. Do the numbers correspond to what you've earned, spent and saved? Do the 1099s seem to be in order? Interest and dividends are reported there, along with the names of the financial institutions. Make sure you know where your assets are invested and where the accounts are kept.
I have seen a spouse pay significant income taxes, often when the payment greatly exceeds the actual income tax debt. After the divorce is over, then an amended return is filed along with a request for a refund of the over payment. In this way cash that would normally have been divided between the spouses was used for income tax payments, and the refund is not shared.
Another trick, especially for a spouse who manages property or a business, is to take steps to devalue the property over time, so that when it comes to allocate the value of the asset, the managing spouse gets the benefit of the lower value. This may include allowing rental property to remain vacant or in disrepair. Another example is to contact a business' customers to defer payments of accounts receivable until after the divorce is finalized. Then when the accounts are finally paid, the managing spouse gets the benefit of the cash, and also the increased value of the business now with current accounts.
Income tax returns are the first place to look for possible clues as to the existence of undisclosed assets. They provide the road map to the discovery of income earning assets and asset sales. Typically, the tax return should also describe the source of all income, whether it be rents received from rental property, interest on a bank account, dividends on stocks, gain or loss on the sale of stock, and the like. In reviewing the tax returns, the attached schedules are far more important than the summary entries on the first two pages. In any event, each page of the tax return should be carefully reviewed. You can get a FREE report at Divorce Ammo.
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I have seen a spouse pay significant income taxes, often when the payment greatly exceeds the actual income tax debt. After the divorce is over, then an amended return is filed along with a request for a refund of the over payment. In this way cash that would normally have been divided between the spouses was used for income tax payments, and the refund is not shared.
Another trick, especially for a spouse who manages property or a business, is to take steps to devalue the property over time, so that when it comes to allocate the value of the asset, the managing spouse gets the benefit of the lower value. This may include allowing rental property to remain vacant or in disrepair. Another example is to contact a business' customers to defer payments of accounts receivable until after the divorce is finalized. Then when the accounts are finally paid, the managing spouse gets the benefit of the cash, and also the increased value of the business now with current accounts.
Income tax returns are the first place to look for possible clues as to the existence of undisclosed assets. They provide the road map to the discovery of income earning assets and asset sales. Typically, the tax return should also describe the source of all income, whether it be rents received from rental property, interest on a bank account, dividends on stocks, gain or loss on the sale of stock, and the like. In reviewing the tax returns, the attached schedules are far more important than the summary entries on the first two pages. In any event, each page of the tax return should be carefully reviewed. You can get a FREE report at Divorce Ammo.
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Divorce Records: Get It Easily
No one asserts a second thought about the memorable wedding rejoice, however various things in the life are set reluctantly that force individuals to call-off the wedding knot. The moment they think that the differences are prevailing in their lives and things are getting tougher, they ask for the divorce.
Various reasons could be cited by the individuals for divorce, whatever that reasons may be; partners file case for wedding termination and finally a divorce settlement cuts the tie. Government authorities offer individuals an opportunity to explore the divorce records for obtaining divorce background of an individual within the prescribed rules.
To help people in getting ample divorce information, Government agencies put some formal procedures in action that portray the ways that is being followed throughout the record search. Undoubtedly, searching the divorce records manually is a tough task since complying with the papers is mandatory before initiating the process.
To avoid the manual process at the greater extent, an online database of divorce reports is doing well in the segment. With some added terms and conditions, users are allowed to subscribe for unlimited access to all sorts of divorce database records for a reasonable price. The online divorce records can be obtained with a sheer adherence to the rules and policies of the authorities and the records are originally updated and uploaded from the local courthouse and concerned authorities.
You have some specified ways to get certified vital divorce record for your use. The first method is to get it from the email. All you need to do is to mark a mail and wait for 1-2 weeks to get the reply. If you feel the method inadequate, you may fill an application form and submit it to the authorities with prescribed fee and a valid identity proof.
The express delivery is another method where state's express service delivers the requisite information to the customers within 2-5 business days after receiving the request with proper channel. Now getting the information is very easy and with the intervention of the authorities and online processing of data you many get the divorce records of some individual on immediate basis.
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Divorce Record - About the Author:
Divorcerecord.us.com is a recognized and trusted online Divorce records information provider. You will get all information about the Divorce records of brides and grooms.
Various reasons could be cited by the individuals for divorce, whatever that reasons may be; partners file case for wedding termination and finally a divorce settlement cuts the tie. Government authorities offer individuals an opportunity to explore the divorce records for obtaining divorce background of an individual within the prescribed rules.
To help people in getting ample divorce information, Government agencies put some formal procedures in action that portray the ways that is being followed throughout the record search. Undoubtedly, searching the divorce records manually is a tough task since complying with the papers is mandatory before initiating the process.
To avoid the manual process at the greater extent, an online database of divorce reports is doing well in the segment. With some added terms and conditions, users are allowed to subscribe for unlimited access to all sorts of divorce database records for a reasonable price. The online divorce records can be obtained with a sheer adherence to the rules and policies of the authorities and the records are originally updated and uploaded from the local courthouse and concerned authorities.
You have some specified ways to get certified vital divorce record for your use. The first method is to get it from the email. All you need to do is to mark a mail and wait for 1-2 weeks to get the reply. If you feel the method inadequate, you may fill an application form and submit it to the authorities with prescribed fee and a valid identity proof.
The express delivery is another method where state's express service delivers the requisite information to the customers within 2-5 business days after receiving the request with proper channel. Now getting the information is very easy and with the intervention of the authorities and online processing of data you many get the divorce records of some individual on immediate basis.
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Divorce Record - About the Author:
Divorcerecord.us.com is a recognized and trusted online Divorce records information provider. You will get all information about the Divorce records of brides and grooms.
Divorce Records Online- Easy Way To Access Data
The statistics of the United States of America claims that in the year 2009 alone there were 7.1 marriages per 1,000 total populations and 3.5 divorce rate per 1,000 populations. That throws up the divorce rate to half of the marriages made per year. Though this is a grave situation, but despite of all the counseling there is no improvement. The high divorce rates have led to introduction of many changes in the whole system like quick divorce, online divorce etc. Though, this article is not about the ways of getting divorce. People who are keen to marry can now access divorce records online. It is imperative to know about the divorce records online requirements and benefits.
Why should one access divorce records online?
It is imperative to keep a check on the history of your spouse so that you don't end up in a mess due to lack of pre enquiries. There are many couples who undergo divorce due to various reasons. Some may opt for divorce due to physical assault, some for emotional dissatisfaction, others for property issues and even for criminal issues such as forgery, sexual assault, attempt to murder etc. Due to the ever increasing crime rates is it more than essential to check out the bride or groom's past record thoroughly to avoid any impounding danger. There are many online sites who run state wise data record. They have the complete list of those who have already got the divorce or else have applied for the divorce and are in a process of it. The records are updated periodically and can be accessed free of cost. Let us know the technique behind accessing the data online.
Divorce Records Online
There are many websites who run the database of the online divorce records. One needs to register with the site either frees of cost or else by depositing nominal fees. Once the registration process is completed the records can be accessed freely. For more information about this matter one can search the net. This online service is becoming widely popular outside the USA also.
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Divorce Record - About the Author:
Divorcerecord.us.com is a recognized and trusted Divorce Records online information provider. You will get all information about the Divorce Records of brides and grooms.
Why should one access divorce records online?
It is imperative to keep a check on the history of your spouse so that you don't end up in a mess due to lack of pre enquiries. There are many couples who undergo divorce due to various reasons. Some may opt for divorce due to physical assault, some for emotional dissatisfaction, others for property issues and even for criminal issues such as forgery, sexual assault, attempt to murder etc. Due to the ever increasing crime rates is it more than essential to check out the bride or groom's past record thoroughly to avoid any impounding danger. There are many online sites who run state wise data record. They have the complete list of those who have already got the divorce or else have applied for the divorce and are in a process of it. The records are updated periodically and can be accessed free of cost. Let us know the technique behind accessing the data online.
Divorce Records Online
There are many websites who run the database of the online divorce records. One needs to register with the site either frees of cost or else by depositing nominal fees. Once the registration process is completed the records can be accessed freely. For more information about this matter one can search the net. This online service is becoming widely popular outside the USA also.
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Divorce Record - About the Author:
Divorcerecord.us.com is a recognized and trusted Divorce Records online information provider. You will get all information about the Divorce Records of brides and grooms.
Divorce Records: Now Accessible Easily
A marital bonding is an eminent name of happiness, rejoice and trust. Couples around the globe are stringed with the knot of trust and loyalty. However, since life is uncertain, in some situation the relationships turn bitter and divorce or a marriage termination becomes the final answer for both the partners. All the divorce made in recent are recorded and reported with concerned authorities and also a further database is maintained to conserve these reports for future references.
Now the people can easily fetch the records from this database to evaluate or analyze the divorce record of any individual. However, to obtain the data one has to follow some strict guidelines and sometimes prescribed fee, imposed by the authorities. The process of getting the divorce records is as easy as to get the other records.
Divorce records are easily accessed from the record office located in the reason where the divorce was settled, the divorce records are generally easy to access. Depending on the state or county where the divorce was settled earlier. It's the responsibility of the lawyer or attorney to access a copy of divorce report to you. If a need arises when one has to request the copy of divorce to crosscheck the divorce background of someone, he can visit the state or county courthouse where their divorce was settled and can simply ask for the copy of divorce record for reference.
There are two ways that allow you to obtain the copy of requested divorce papers from the database. The very first method is to get it from the government bodies and another one is to acquire it from the private sources. Some agencies offer these records manually however some usually prefer to send it by electronic mail. It's ultimately a personal preference that you choose mode of delivery.
It's very necessary to know that not all the persons can get an easy access of the divorce records. Only a few people are granted the permission including the divorced couple or one who has granted interim orders from a viable courthouse. All you have to is to apply online for the reports and then wait for some weeks, records will be at your doorstep.
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Divorce Record - About the Author:
Divorcerecord.us.com is a recognized and trusted online Divorce records information provider. You will get all information about the Divorce records of brides and grooms.
Now the people can easily fetch the records from this database to evaluate or analyze the divorce record of any individual. However, to obtain the data one has to follow some strict guidelines and sometimes prescribed fee, imposed by the authorities. The process of getting the divorce records is as easy as to get the other records.
Divorce records are easily accessed from the record office located in the reason where the divorce was settled, the divorce records are generally easy to access. Depending on the state or county where the divorce was settled earlier. It's the responsibility of the lawyer or attorney to access a copy of divorce report to you. If a need arises when one has to request the copy of divorce to crosscheck the divorce background of someone, he can visit the state or county courthouse where their divorce was settled and can simply ask for the copy of divorce record for reference.
There are two ways that allow you to obtain the copy of requested divorce papers from the database. The very first method is to get it from the government bodies and another one is to acquire it from the private sources. Some agencies offer these records manually however some usually prefer to send it by electronic mail. It's ultimately a personal preference that you choose mode of delivery.
It's very necessary to know that not all the persons can get an easy access of the divorce records. Only a few people are granted the permission including the divorced couple or one who has granted interim orders from a viable courthouse. All you have to is to apply online for the reports and then wait for some weeks, records will be at your doorstep.
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Divorce Record - About the Author:
Divorcerecord.us.com is a recognized and trusted online Divorce records information provider. You will get all information about the Divorce records of brides and grooms.
Divorce Records- Cross Check Of Bride Or Groom
The US statistics show that around 50% of the married couples apply for divorce each year. To lower the rates of divorce the government has set up many marriage counselors but still not much positivity could be inserted into the channel. Hence, the US government has also introduced the system of online divorce and quick divorce to make the procedure hassle free for the interested couple. The divorce records are also maintained side by side along with the specific reason of divorce. One can now access this divorce record through online methods as well. This is a good tool to cross check the history of your to-be spouse. Let us know more about the reasons behind why one should cross check the history of the spouse through the divorce records.
Divorce Records- Reasons Of Cross Checks
Divorce is not always for emotional dissatisfaction. A strong percentage of the people get divorced due to physical assault, sexual assaults, forgery, attempt to murder, property and monetary dispute and other underlying criminal issues. So it is more than just essential to cross check the past life of your to-be-spouse as a safety measure. There are many online agencies in the USA that run and maintain the divorce records. They maintain the records assorted state wise. Some of the agencies charge for their services and others give it free of cost. Let us now discuss the steps associated with availing this service.
Online Divorce Records Agencies
The divorce records contain the name of the person, the number of divorce undergone and the underlying cause behind all the divorces. This data is accessible to all. You can read the other details of the person in question and then decide whether to move ahead with the marriage with this person or not. You simply need to register with the respective websites to avail this service. For registration you need to follow the steps mentioned in the websites. For more information on the matter you can search the net. This trend of checking the history of the person is fast catching the trend in the USA and other countries as well. Join the trend today for a safer future.
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Divorce Record - About the Author:
Divorcerecord.us.com is a recognized and trusted Divorce Records online information provider. You will get all information about the Divorce Records of brides and grooms.
Divorce Records- Reasons Of Cross Checks
Divorce is not always for emotional dissatisfaction. A strong percentage of the people get divorced due to physical assault, sexual assaults, forgery, attempt to murder, property and monetary dispute and other underlying criminal issues. So it is more than just essential to cross check the past life of your to-be-spouse as a safety measure. There are many online agencies in the USA that run and maintain the divorce records. They maintain the records assorted state wise. Some of the agencies charge for their services and others give it free of cost. Let us now discuss the steps associated with availing this service.
Online Divorce Records Agencies
The divorce records contain the name of the person, the number of divorce undergone and the underlying cause behind all the divorces. This data is accessible to all. You can read the other details of the person in question and then decide whether to move ahead with the marriage with this person or not. You simply need to register with the respective websites to avail this service. For registration you need to follow the steps mentioned in the websites. For more information on the matter you can search the net. This trend of checking the history of the person is fast catching the trend in the USA and other countries as well. Join the trend today for a safer future.
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Divorce Record - About the Author:
Divorcerecord.us.com is a recognized and trusted Divorce Records online information provider. You will get all information about the Divorce Records of brides and grooms.
Warning: is Your Spouse Hiding Money During Your Divorce?
Hiding money (assets) during a divorce is illegal and unethical. Never the less it's more common than you think. Both men and woman alike have and continue these tactics daily. I am in no way advocating hiding assets. I am simply documenting facts to help educate and protect.
By hiding money your spouse may be trying to lower child support and alimony payments. You and your attorney must look to uncover any hidden moneys and to prove the actual amount of money that your spouse has available.
I've listed five items below to give you a starting point for finding hidden income and assets.
1) Your spouse may defer a part of his salary until after the divorce. Look for letters, notes, or emails asking to defer income. Look at past history of your spouses earnings. If he/she is normally receives $50,000 per year in commissions and suddenly not receiving any money or a dramatic drop. Advise your attorney.
2) Some spouses receive bonuses in addition to their net pay. Look for deals where partial bonuses are paid and the other portion is put into a separate account accruing to the benefit of the employee. Bonuses can be deferred for future distribution. Look for a pattern of bonus payments in the past.
3) If your partner is suddenly, chronically short of cash, or if their weekly ATM withdrawal doubles, that could be a sign. Many stores now let you get cash back when using your debit card for purchases. Your spouse can be adding $20, $40, or more to ever purchase. Check receipts.
4) Does the mail come to your home? If not, that could be a red flag that your spouse doesn't want you to see certain incoming statements.
5) Any changes in the way family finances are handled. Did that joint savings account suddenly disappear? Was there a piece of a stock sold or got rolled over into something else?
You can find out how to get a free report with more tips by visiting Divorce Ammo.
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By hiding money your spouse may be trying to lower child support and alimony payments. You and your attorney must look to uncover any hidden moneys and to prove the actual amount of money that your spouse has available.
I've listed five items below to give you a starting point for finding hidden income and assets.
1) Your spouse may defer a part of his salary until after the divorce. Look for letters, notes, or emails asking to defer income. Look at past history of your spouses earnings. If he/she is normally receives $50,000 per year in commissions and suddenly not receiving any money or a dramatic drop. Advise your attorney.
2) Some spouses receive bonuses in addition to their net pay. Look for deals where partial bonuses are paid and the other portion is put into a separate account accruing to the benefit of the employee. Bonuses can be deferred for future distribution. Look for a pattern of bonus payments in the past.
3) If your partner is suddenly, chronically short of cash, or if their weekly ATM withdrawal doubles, that could be a sign. Many stores now let you get cash back when using your debit card for purchases. Your spouse can be adding $20, $40, or more to ever purchase. Check receipts.
4) Does the mail come to your home? If not, that could be a red flag that your spouse doesn't want you to see certain incoming statements.
5) Any changes in the way family finances are handled. Did that joint savings account suddenly disappear? Was there a piece of a stock sold or got rolled over into something else?
You can find out how to get a free report with more tips by visiting Divorce Ammo.
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Divorce - Court Room Tips
When it comes to the Court Room, you will find this to be a pretty place. Once the divorce proceedings begin, the outcome of your divorce is in the hands of a total stranger - the Judge. You no longer have control. All decisions will now be made by a stranger. Of course this stranger may be having a bad day, not feeling well, or even have had a major fight with their spouse the night before. I know it's scary and may even seem unfair, but this is the real world
and it happens all the time. This judge is now in control of the outcome of your trial.
Here are a few tips to help prepare you for the Court Room experience:
1.First, I strongly recommend you try to settle as many issues as possible before entering the Court Room. This means the judge won't be in control of everything.
2.Do not expect the Judge will always make decisions in your favor. There are three directions the judge can go when making a decision: Your way, your spouse's way, or the Judge's
way. As you can see, two out three are not in your favor.
3.Discuss how you should act, and when to speak with you attorney before going into the courtroom. Do not speak unless asked to do so by the Judge.
4.When addressing the Judge with respect by addressing him/her as "Your Honor."
5.Never speak to or make comments to your spouse when you are before the Judge.
6.Leave all hostile and negative emotions at the door. Do not make faces or gestures when the judge or your spouse's attorney is speaking. Judges see this and do not appreciate it.
7.Dress for success. Your attorney will have a certain strategy on how he/she wants you to be portrayed. Therefore, consult your attorney on how he/she wants you to dress.
8.Take notes. Don't leave anything to chance. Your attorney will be very busy during the process and cannot remember or write everything down.
9.Be prepared and stay organized. Bring as much information, documentation and any pertinent documents that you possibly can with you. It is better to have too much ammunition than not enough.
10.Be prepared to be in the court house for some time. You will sometimes wait for hours before your case is called.
You can get more divorce tips and strategies at www.DivorceAmmo.com
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